Relationship Anxiety...

I have had ongoing issues with anxiety ever since I was a child, I suffer from bouts of OCD in varying severity, and worry constantly.

I met my partner 8 months ago, we are incredibly happy and things have been moving on perfectly. However I have recently (past three weeks) noticed myself experiencing anxiety about the relationship (Nothing has changed/triggered this).
In the past three weeks: I constantly worry he is going to end things, this monopolises my thoughts, I ask him if he still loves me, if he still wants to be with me, if he doesnt answer his phone I assume I will never hear from him again... Writing it down I realise how ridiculous this seems, but when I am in one of those zones, it seems perfectly plausible.
He has noticed changes in my behaviour, and although not annoyed now, I am sure this behaviour will grow old fast.
This is completely about me, I think I am the happiest I have ever been and terrified of that changing. Any tips/stories - Anyone experienced anything similar?
I want to nip this in the bud before it effects my relationship longterm.

Hi sarahadella,

sarahadella wrote:...Anyone experienced anything similar?...

From what I've read, it seems a good percentage of the threads on this forum are about similar fears.

On the very positive side you are aware of your fears, a big step up from purely reacting while being unaware of what is behind it.

I don't have any great advice though, but some thoughts:

What works best for me is to just accept how I feel. Trying to intellectualize it away doesn't work for me. By just accepting it (versus running from it, fighting it) there is an opportunity to see the fears/insecurities in a whole new light. Who knows, you might even reach a point where you see it all from a new point of view, and can honestly chuckle about it

Second is to ask yourself a tough question. Is it possible that on some level you want him to leave too? That can seem entirely counter-intuitive, but it seems sometimes that's what is really behind fears of abandonment. While we might not want to be alone, being alone is also safe. We can't be hurt when alone; there are new possibilities; if things are not going well ending it could mean a fresh start leaving all painful history behind; more related reasons.

Third, yes absolutely true that frequently questioning a partner for re-assurance will likely drive them away long term, even if it can seem like deep romantic love in the short term. Possibly some people do this for reasons related to the thought above, because on some level they want it to end and on some level know they are pushing their partner away. What works for me though is to retain a degree of independence, and likewise to encourage my partner to take some time out to do what they need/want to do alone or with others. I don't have any great advice here, but when we fear abandonment it's also easy to get into a downward spiral where we avoid taking time out for ourselves (out of fear our partner is going to do something), but it's really us who is feeling anxious/smothered and projecting what we are feeling/thinking.