What is "No Contact" like for "Nons"

I have BPD, been dealing with a breakup now for about 4 months. She's got me under no contact, and while I try to comply, it's eating me alive from from inside. I'm constantly thinking of her and I write her letters all the time and have to really refrain from sending them.

Is this unusual behaviour for nons?

I mean... I guess this sounds weird, but how do normal people FEEL about it? Are they usually this devastated? Is non-contact supposed to be this painful and difficult?

Hi NotSince,

I'm a little confused by your post - you say you have BPD but then you imply that you are a NON. Maybe I have it wrong but that's how it sounds.

Anyway, to answer your question - As a Non who split with an HPD friend I can tell you it was just the way you described it for me. It was the most difficult thing I've ever been through.
I think it's rather unique for the BPD person to be feeling all of those things - in my experience they usually don't care at all. If you hadn't said you were BPD I might not have believed it.
Don't get me wrong I'm saying it's a good thing that you have some feelings, although I'm sorry you have to go through all of this.

Stay strong is all I can say - it will get better eventually !!

I had the same sort of problem with a sort of similar situation (not a relationship though) where I was writing something almost every day. I think that's pretty normal, really.

NotSince67 wrote:I have BPD, been dealing with a breakup now for about 4 months. She's got me under no contact, and while I try to comply, it's eating me alive from from inside. I'm constantly thinking of her and I write her letters all the time and have to really refrain from sending them.

Is this unusual behaviour for nons?

I mean... I guess this sounds weird, but how do normal people FEEL about it? Are they usually this devastated? Is non-contact supposed to be this painful and difficult?

Depending on the relationship, it can range from heart wrenching to despair. But sometimes we have to do what's best for us no matter what. Not always being eaten from the inside out, but can be depending on the circumstances, but definitely longing, sadness, depressive state, you name it. If it was a short relationship and the persons behavior was out of hand, relief.