Childhood crush now back in my life and unhealthy...

Alright, the first guy I EVER liked was in first grade... lets call him Tom. Well, I liked Tom on and off all throughout elementary school and he was kind of mean to me. Definitely rejected me. He lost his dad at age 12 then his older brother at 16. When high school came around, I didn't know what had happened to him but I knew he was getting into some trouble. I tried hanging out with him once in high school and he blew me off. Then I tried again at some point while I was in college and he was a bit nicer but still kind of blew me off.

I have Borderline Personality Disorder and a few things I'm terrible with: I'm clingy, I'm afraid of abandonment and I HATE being rejected from guys. I dont have a close relationship with my dad or older brother and I do crave attention from guys.

Anywho, sometimes I have random dreams with Tom in it - this is definitely once in a very blue moon. Had a dream about him a week ago and I was like "eh, what the heck, I'm going to try Facebook friending him". Well, not only did I friend him and he accepted, I messaged him and he was talking back to me being very nice. He said he's changed a lot since high school.

Well yesterday, I found out I had to put my cat down and he was NOT sympathetic at all. I dont really like people and find animals better than most humans. My mom and cat are the two most important things in my life. Dad brother and whoever come after. I've had her for 11 years. He wanted me to tell her how the visit went and I was telling him how its like losing a human being. How its like a mother losing her child because I've taken care of her the same way. He's like its not the same, sorry but thats wrong of you to say that. And he was TOTALLY making it all about him. He was insensitive. I got pissed and snapped at him via text and he said that maybe we can't be friends if he can't speak his mind. and i just went off on him. he eventually apologized several times and said how much of a disappointment he was and how he HAD to open his stupid big mouth and ruin everything like always and all this junk.

I know he is unstable, clearly. I also know he never really dealt with the loss of his brother and dad. He sounds like me in a bad and scary way. One minute saying mean insensitive things then later trying to switch the story around. I haven't physically seen him in like 10 yrs now. So far its just via text. but at one point, he put a txt in caps trying to convey anger to me saying I dont know all the sh*t he's been through. and I said listen you're unstable and so am I, I dont think we should continue being friends. and he's like I can't just let it go like that I dont think you've really given me a chance, etc, etc.

Well, the kid has a firm hold on me - I'll say that. Someone who rejected me for years and now is begin flirty, giving me attention and most of it was good until yesterday. i also recently broke up with my ex boyfriend and have a lot of trouble being alone. I just go from one guy to the next. I dont know what to do about him. Not only do i like the attention when its fine and he's not being unstable but I also feel bad for him and everything he's gone through.

...help?

Iam soooooo very sorry about your beloved kitty.My heart goes out to you.XX...If this adult young man cannot find the compassion in his heart and soul to be sympathetic with your personal loss,DITCH his faux friendship.He will NOT give you the support you need and DESERVE in a relationship.Pets are important to you,they are to me also,and if someone doesnt have the same views as you,your compatability level will probably just not be there.Be fair and kind to yourself.He sounds self centered and not dependable.Dont set your beautiful self up for alot of heartache.There are much better men out there,who care,are compassionate,loyal and just decent good people.Why get yourself involved,especially since you stated you get attatched easily,to someone who just isnt going to care in the long run.I hate to rank on this guy,but Im in my 40s and have dealt with men that sound like him,I got so attatched,knowing that these men really had nothing much in common with my views or lifestyle,only because I was lonely and they were available at that moment.Its not worth the effort and wasted time on your part.Someone who cares and is much more compassionate is out there for you.Once again..I am so very very sorry for your loss..XX hugs to you.