HPD and jealousy games

What does this mean:

"- Never react to their jealousy games or any of her stupid drama games"

I saw this in the successful relationship with HPD thread
histrionic-personality/topic46465.html

I posted more there if anyone has some input or advice for me and wants to look at that thread.


What are jealousy games exactly. Is the idea not to show any reaction or care that she is sleeping with others?

I've had some situations like this.

She says that she is not sleeping with anyone else. One day she accidentally drops a condom while looking through her purse. then she looks guilty and uncomfortable/vulnerable as if she is expecting a negative reaction from me; (I don't know if she did that on purpose to possibly cause jealosy or was it really accidental) I don't say anything. The next day I ask her if she thinks that she can sleep with whomever she wants. She admits she slept with someone and says it's because I did not return her calls for 3 days. Meanwhile I was abroad and did not want roaming charges so I did not even see her calls. I then told her that she'll need my permission to sleep with someone else

where8 -

My recent post here may also be related to your question -

family-support/topic135125-10.html#p1394266

Though you also wrote that after 3 days she strayed. From my experience if you are in a relationship with someone with BPD or HPD (maybe other personality types as well), they can have deep seated fears of abandonment, and need regular re-assurance that their partner is present/thinking of them. 3 days of no contact is like an eternity to some people. That's no excuse by the way, just a point of data to consider.

Ultimately though it is painful to be in a relationship with someone who triggers our sense of jealousy, regardless of whether or not it's intended.