xdude wrote:London,
While we can't diagnose her, obviously what you are describing is a pattern of thinking/behaving that is dangerous, and unhealthy for her, and very much so for you.
Learning about personality disorders is definitely helpful though. If nothing else it helps us to re-evaluate the past, to somewhat sort out 'what happened'.
It does seem common enough that after someone has been through a relationship like you are describing, then learns about a disorder(s) to try and make sense of it all, that for a time one starts seeing disordered thinking in near everyone. That usually passes too in time, but it happens. I suppose in a way it's sort of like PTSD (or maybe it is?). People on this forum often write that they feel depressed, anxious, suspicious, confused, for months, even years after exiting a toxic relationship. These kind of relationships can shred our self-esteem, and leave us completely confused about so much we thought we knew about ourselves/others.
Like you wrote though, it may well end up being a learning experience for you too.
xdude, you raise some interesting points. I like what you say about PTSD. Maybe, for me, it was somewhat 'comforting', or a coping mechanism, educating myself about the personality disorders she may well have had. Maybe some part of me was content with reading about the inner turmoil many BPDs experience, especially after what she put me through. I've always considered myself to be fairly open-minded anyway, but since learning more about mental health and all that it entails, my perspective on people and life in general has changed. Although I initially experienced depression and emptiness following the break-up, we'd been there many times before so it wasn't a foreign concept to me.
You sound very articulate and like you have an abundance of wisdom, xdude. Thank you for helping me see things in a different light.
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