Does sexual stuff create the intimate connection?

I have never had a girlfriend but all my friends are female. I am nineteen and really confused about how relationships, intimacy, and sex work. I don't know how to create an intimate connection to someone else. I have female friends that I feel emotions for, such as being happy when I'm around her or enjoying talking to her. The problem is that what I am told from normal people is that there is something non-physical that you feel between two people when you create an intimate connection. I have never felt this before. Even with my male friends, there is no actual connection that would make then worth anything more than some other random guy on the street. In terms of sex, since there is no intimacy, I look at my female friends the same way as a prostitute. It would just be meaingless sex. So when I was younger I actually decided to lose my virginity to a prostitute. It was fun, even got to snort cocaine off her ass, but there was no intimacy. I decided to try out sex because I was confused about how an intimate connection is formed. I wasn't sure if you needed to do sexual stuff in order to create that intimate connection, or if the intimatre connection somehow forms on its own and then once you have that connection then you know it is time to do sexual stuff.

So how does someone form an intimate connection. It seems that most people do sexual stuff in order to form that connection. Most people start getting sexual on the first date by kissing, and I have seen on dating forums that the acceptable time frame to have intercourse in three to five dates. Does that mean that the intimate connection formed that fast? After an hour dinner you already have an intimate connection and can start doing sexual stuff such as kissing? Or is it the other way around that in order to create the intimate connection that couple decided that they would want to kiss?

I don't understand this how this stuff works.

Ahhhh the days of doing coke off chicks asses. Those were the days!

TrapGod


Learning to generate attraction is one of the most challenging and I believe most rewarding art-forms a man can learn. And when I say challenging, I mean in a fun way. Learning to be good with women is fun and exciting! Never tell yourself that it is hard or difficult because you are training your mind to believe that. When I first started to learn the rules of attraction, I was terrible at it, but there was something deep inside me that pushed me to keep learning, to keep pushing my comfort zone, to keep me dedicated to the single most important goal in a man's life.
I feel you might be getting to this stage as well. You want to get better with women, but you do not know how. I feel for you because I know all too well what this is like and it does not feel good. You see a a gorgeous woman, and you want to talk to her, but you are afraid of failing. The fear of failing and the limiting beliefs society and we ourselves put on each other. Let me give you some advice to help speed along your attraction journey. I'm going to break this into the next post.

1) Failure does not happen if she rejects you: Failure happens if you do not approach. If you approach a woman, in any situation or scenario, you are a man. It does not matter if she rejects you, kisses you, or sleeps with you, you did your job as a man as your fore-fathers did before you. You actually fail women if you do not approach as well.

2) Say what you are thinking: We are trained by society to respect a woman, but in the wrong way. We are trained to not hit on them, not touch them, not look them in the eye, but guess what, you will never get a woman if you cannot do these things! I love women, without them I could not survive, I crave their energy. If you truly love women, why doesn't everyone see this in you? Giving a woman a genuine compliment shows incredible confidence and will greatly attract her to you because so many people in this world are fake. Don't rely on routines or pick-up lines to talk to women because they frankly don't work. Genuine honesty I believe will become your greatest ally in attracting women to you because it shows they can trust you. Only confident men can do this.

3) Compliments: Like I When you see a girl and she has great looking highlights in her hair or has awesome colored shoes on, you need to let her know this. Like I said before, genuine compliments are incredible tools in attraction. The reason is because most men believe they have to one-up the woman and "neg" her to make her feel for him while in fact when you do this, you are actually showing great insecurity and women are not attracted to this. I'm not saying to go overboard with compliments because too many can come off as needy but if you get good at this, you can actually make a woman's night by saying something genuine.

(I'm going to break off again)

4) Getting Sexual: If you want a woman to see you as a sexual partner, you have to use sexual language and touching, with the touching called "kino" for short. If you can combine funny and sexual language mixed with kino, it will turn a woman on very fast. Kino can be a variety of things such as touching the lower part of her back, hand-holding, hugging, touching the waist, high-five with a hand-hold, kissing, slidding your hand down her arm to her hand, the list goes on. By combining genuine kino, meaning not just rapid firing it, and sexual language, you will learn the calibration to go in for a kiss. Usually it is three to four kino and if she does not back away or stop your advance, you can slowly go in for a kiss.

5) Relax: When I was starting out, I was so worried about the outcome that I would neglect the actual interaction. So many men fear interaction because they believe that if they do not get something from the woman such as a phone number or a kiss that it is a failure. Nothing is further from the truth. The mentality you need to grasp is one of giving rather than receiving. Instead of taking a kiss, you want to give her a kiss. Instead of just having sex with her, you want to get to know her and leave her better than you found her. The journey to become good with women does not happen overnight and you should embrace that. Enjoy this journey because you are making yourself a better man every time you try, whether you realize it or not. By taking small risk after small risk, pretty soon approaching women will be completely natural and you will never want to go back to the man you were before.

6) Mentality: What you have to realize is that we are all good enough to be with women. Changing your mindset will be the greatest challenge you face. The biggest reason I wasn't good with girls is because I at one time I didn't believe I was good enough for them. The more you go out (and you may have to go out by yourself), the more comfortable you will get talking to strangers. Talk to everyone! Men, women, young and old, doesn't matter! I believe women are craving men who can walk up to them and be honest with their intentions, and the best way to get over approach anxiety is to approach everyone. I understand that it is easier to approach someone you may not be attracted to, but taking small steps will help to elevate what you know to be possible.

I hope these post could help you out. I could go on and on about this because I always wished I knew this stuff from an earlier age. I'm in my mid-twenties, and I finally feel like I have control of this aspect of my life because I did these things. Best of luck my friend and let me know if you have questions!

Distant Angel you are spot on. Great posts!

Thank you Brassmonkey! I want to give what advice I can so that others can live a happier life from an earlier age than I did.