He loves me but left

My boyfriend ended things about 2 weeks ago because he couldn't deal. We are a match made in heaven but life's complications are more the issue than us as a couple. We are long distance (I would move eventually), he is going through a divorce leaving him feel guilty, and he suffers from anxiety that is being treated with therapy and drugs. We had a magical romantic weekend together and made promises and plans for our future. Even when he ended things he cried and said he loves me as he has never loved before. I believe his love too. I've felt it and seen it. My heart knows it to be true. The day after our weekend together he said he just couldn't do it. He misses me too much all the time. He needs me near him. He said that his life is out of control and by ending things with me is partly him taking control. I understand where he is coming from but how is this better? I am crushed and devastated and my depression has taken hold of me again and I haven't seen it like this in many years. I had to call my doctor for a prescription for Zoloft. I just don't know how to deal. I obsess and get negative then I bounce back with hope and positivity. He won't contact me and is avoiding my messages. I know he thinks he is protecting me from his confused emotional state (he says he is broken and needs to be whole again) I am so lost losing my best friend and soul mate.

If you're serious about the relationship, then now might be a good time to stay persistent and keep at it. Don't overdo it to the point of annoyance (i.e. sending dozens of messages a day), but keep trying to get in contact. If he deeply cares about you, I think eventually he'll relent after seeing your persistence because the act of consciously refusing over and over again would become too much without losing his resolution to not interact with you. Each time you contact him, his doubt regarding his decision will loom stronger in his mind.

I am also having a bad and depressing day so please keep that in mind as you read my reply:

My ex also told me he needed to get away so "he can heal by himself" and that "he will always care for me". But just 2 weeks after he ended things because "he couldn't take the mistrust anymore" he found a new girlfriend. It broke my heart to know he could move on so quickly. I really do understand your pain - I was also there. But trying to make something work when the other person isn't willing to try will end up hurting you so much more. I also lost my hope, my dreams for the future with my soul mate but what he did to me is inexcusable. He left me. If he loved me he would have moved heaven and earth to be with me. Keep that in mind - a person who really loves you won't like to see you hurting like this.

But I know that hope is hard to kill. I kept hoping for 2 months after my ex broke up with me. I still sometimes catch myself hoping... I won't tell you not to hope but I will just tell you that it hurts much, much more seeing him move on while you still stand at the fork in the road waiting for him to turn back...

clgeorge3,


The unfortunate but beautiful thing about break-ups is they hurt not to punish us, but to remind us what we had. It's in human nature to dislike loss and change, but unfortunately, they are a big part of life. That's why it feels so good to win! Cherish the moments you spend with an amazing person and remember that they could be anywhere in the world, but they're there with you!

The other thing I may tell you may be hard, but it is the truth. The secret to happiness is not through someone else, but from within. If you can't be happy alone, there isn't a way to be happy with someone else. You have to change everything completely, and this starts within ourselves.