Sexual insecurity? Or something else??

Hi guys,

I apologize in advance because I hope this doesn't take long to read, i'll make it as brief and accurate as possible. It's making me struggle a little and hurting. To begin, let me say how much of an idiot i feel. Here goes:

I've known this girl for 5 years. We weren't really in a relationship until 7 months ago, but they have been a beautiful 7 months. It's basically a long distance relationship, but we have much in common and are very close to one another. We made plans to meet and engage as well.

I've been racking my brain trying to identify my problem to no avail. And yes i take full accountability, this is my problem. She is a beautiful and innocent-charactered young woman, and she looked depressed one morning we were speaking. I said, sweetie what's the problem? And she said, oh it's just 'girls business'. I kept pressing because we were always honest with each other and she truly looked sad. She said she was researching what happens on a couples 'wedding night' and that in the process she accidentally stumbled onto pornography, she cried and even became sick about it. Note, this has happened to her before on facebook (as with all of us at some point). Seemingly the first time it didn't bother me at all, she saw a photo of a nude male.

I spent that morning with her, reassuring her that what she saw wasn't real love and would not happen between her and i, should that day come and that these were professional adult actors, etc. That same morning, i felt like i really couldn't leave her for some reason, so we talked unusually long and i was continually re-assuring her that it was okay and if she had anymore questions on the subject so that she wouldn't have to go looking at garbage in order to find answers.

For some stupid, stupid reason. This has been replaying over in my mind, the moment when she saw this imagery and was shocked. I really am having tremendous difficulty forgetting it. I know it's stupid, i know she's not the type of girl to go looking on purpose for this kind of thing. Why can i not remove this and just proceed with our lives. It has been exactly 7 days since this happened and these have been the worst 7 days of our entire 5 years knowing each other. It seems almost despicable and infantile to let such a seemingly insignificant thing affect us so adversely. I take full responsibility, i just want to know how to get over this miniscule triviality.

I was so happy and smiling with her all the time, but my face has turned to coldness and seriousness. She feels i don't trust her anymore, she thinks that i believe she's a 'slut'. Deep down i know she's not the type of girl to go looking for this type of thing. She used to tell me that she talked to guys and i was totally cool with that (as any normal person would be). Why is this specifically affecting me?

I was looking into this madonna/whore complex. However, before this happened, the idea of sexual intimacy with her was something of a magical and beautiful thought to me. She said to me that, she decided to look this up because she was having strong emotions for me and wanted to know more, which i totally believe. Her motive was not to be perverted. Still, this is hurting us, because of my insecurity.

I'm sorry this seems so insignificant...But i shouldn't be embarrassed talking about it. Have i made too much of this? Is this some kind of psycho-sexual dilemma? Do i not trust her anymore? If there are any details you think would be important i have no problem sharing.

PS: Every morning when i wake, it seems the insecurity feels the greatest. I don't know what this means (if anything but i thought to add it).

See my answer in your other post...

Sex is a human necessity. There is no shame in watching it or performing it.

Does she live in a bubble? She doesn't know about sex? How does she think she got here in the first place?