i wrote a letter...

yakasushii wrote:costerama, i basically said that in the letter... if they didn't want me in their life, to tell me... but i haven't received a response... and i'd rather not hear the person's last words say something like, "sorry, but i don't want you in my life."

awww, thanks erin...
i'll wait longer...

unlike with your situation though, i know this person doesn't love me =(

it wasn't a love letter though (although i do love this person)! it was an attempt to revive a lost friendship...

*sigh*

awww. i am sorry about that. maybe you should just try to think about something else for a while, you wrote the letter so it is all out in the open. you should be able to move on.

i know it hurts. and it is hard to move on. but don't give up hope or happiness. do something nice to make you feel better and forget about it for a while. i hope you feel better soon.

::hugs::

erin

My apoligies to any Postal workers who might visit these forums but unless your letter was sent with delivery confirmation or certified you can't be 100% sure it ever got there. My neighbors get my mail and vice versa constantly! I really think I would call and just ask if this person got the letter. I have a similar situation right now. I recently made a post on this board about this girl I was in love with when I was 12 years old. She died at 18. I have been thinking a lot about her lately and decided to wite a letter to her mother. There were a few different addresses listed for her on Ancestry.com. I picked one and sent it. It has been over a month and I haven't gotten a response nor has the letter been returned to me. Now I don't know if she got it and just didn't want to respond or if I should try a different address.

thanks, but it's not the only letter i've written to this person (i've written more since starting this thread), and i've still heard nothing. if you're wondering why i still write to this person even though i never hear from them, it's because i miss them that much, as pathetic as it might seem.

even if neighbours got the mail, i'm sure they would be respectful enough to give it to the rightful recipient.

i guess i just miss this person too much, and they simply don't feel the same. what more can i do? nothing, really.

thanks for the support

It's hard for anyone here to offer you advice based on a short post! You have not shared with us your personal situation. You have only mentioned that your wrote someone you care very much about a 42 page letter to try and mend a relationship. You didn't say when you sent the letter.....how much time you gave the person to read the letter and ponder what you wrote. You didn't say if you asked the person to contact you after you wrote the letter or how you asked the person to let you know they received your letter and how they felt about your words once they read the letter. You also didn't let us know what happened between you and them.

I guess it's hard to advice you on what to do next upon your having sent a 42 page letter. My advice would depend on how much time has passed because that is a very lengthy thing to read. Give the person time to really consider your words. for something so long ....first of all....did you hand write it.....did you type it at the computer?! How long really is 42 pages! Well...either way....even if it's hand written but amounts to more like 20 pages typed....it's obviously LONG! You put your heart into it no doubt. So give the person time to weigh out your words. I'm assuming that something big took place between you.....maybe something to do with a relationship failed? Or maybe this is a family relationship....something happened there?

You know...if only a week has gone by since you feel they have by now gotten your letter and have had time to read it....well again....it just depends on how much time this problem has been going on between you and how big the problem is. How much time you feel the person needs to be able to think over what you have said. If it took you 42 pages to say what you had to say.....consider then it will take this person a few days or maybe weeks to want to think about what you have had to say. They may be struggling with what you have offerred up. They may be emotionally torn with some of the things you have said? They may simply not be sure if they want to accept it or not??? I can only guess here because of course I do not know what your situation is. But even if I did know your sitution I still could only guess what this person is doing in their mind emotionally with your letter. I guess give it some time....if it has been some time since you have seen them.....you have to try to take into account their busy schedule and so forth too. But I'd say give them 2 weeks and then call them. Flat out call them and ask if they have had a chance to read your letter and if they feel they would like to talk about it in person or if they would rather you just left things be.

yakasushii wrote:contact them? but... if they haven't said anything by now, i think it's safe to assume they don't want to have any contact with me... i don't want to make them talk to me if they don't want to =(

But then I don't understand why you continue to write them?

thanks, angel.

i handwrote it, sent it over two months ago.
i asked the person to contact me if they wanted to, asked them to tell me if they didn't want me to write to them anymore.

why did i continue writing? well, because writing to them makes it feel like they're there with me. i miss them that much. but it doesn't feel sufficient if i just write something to them and not send it to them. if they don't want to talk to me, they don't have to. i'll probably still write as if they did want to, and hope that maybe they will say something in response. it's like you're grieving someone's death, and you write to them, to ensure that you don't lose the part of you that came from them.

That's a tough one.....they are not contacting you back....yet you did ask them to tell you if they wanted to you to stop communication. You could read a lot of things into their lack of response. One could read into there lack of response that they are avoiding you and hoping that you will let go....one could read into it that they want you to keep writing but for now they don't write or call you back because they simply are unsure of what they want to say in reply....I mean it could go so many ways. I guess if you want to know for sure exactly where you stand.....pick up the phone and call. Tell the person that it's been two months and you just want to assume by their silence anymore what this means.....you have not heard back from them a request to end communication from you however you have also not heard from them anything else and you really want to know where their heart is in all of this. I would say if you feel you cannot do this, then the best thing for you to do is back off for awhile and give this person space.

Again.....I caution you though....take the advice you get in forums such as this with a "grain of salt" considering we really don't know you or this person personally and of course we are giving you are opinions without knowing what put you out of touch and distanced in the first place!