I love him so much

I try to forgive him when he's weak because I love him so much. I don't want him to feel guilty. He makes me feel so ugly. Tells me I'm selfish. How is it selfish that I don't want him to feel bad? How come he makes me feel so unloved. I just want to be dead. He
doesn't apprecia my love for him. He makes me hate myself. Everyone runs over me and and he never let's me defend myself. WHY??

Linda,

If someone's taking you for granted, or worse - abuses you, please don't keep in contact with that person, no matter how much you think you love them.

Love yourself first.
Don't settle for someone who makes you feel bad.

Take care of *you*. Because no one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself.

Do yourself a favor and work on your self-esteem / self-love.

Best wishes to you.

Leave him then....

I agree with Dice, you got to love yourself first or else you can't love anybody else the way you would want to. If someone can't appreciate your company, then they are not worth having in your life!

If i had dime for every time I heard about this story. I'm not trying to be insensitive here but its the same thing over and over with most girls, usually under age 30. When i was an big asshole i had plenty of girls and they all loved me. I stole them from their boyfriends, i never committed to them, I was selfish and my numbers were high. Now I stopped all that foolishness and guess what?!?? NO GIRLS Now I stopped bein an ass and they don't like it. So i'm going to tell you this, except what you like, don't complain about it. If you except it then you'll be a lot happier. When you except it you'll find that your self worth is probably higher then your insecurities, if that makes sense. Just a reality check for ya

I understand where your coming from. I always put my husbands feelings first-right down to the sound of my breath not disturbing him. There is no reward for putting his feelings first. Less arguements maybe but the internal damage its doing to you does not help. The more I put his feelings first the more he sees my feelings are downgraded to not mattering a bit. It hurts me to say I love my husband like that, but I do. He is not concerned about how I feel half as much as every move I make being about how he will feel about it. Give yourself the attention no one else can. Put your feeling AT LEAST EQUAL to his. I am doing my best to do the same.

Dear Linda,

I am sorry you are stuck in a verbally abusive relationship and you should choose what you want to do but my advice is different: I know you love him very very much. That is why I won't tell you to leave him. It sounds like he has some issues of his own. Remember: "Hurt people hurts other people". He seems to be the one with the problems. If you can convince him to go with you to a counselor, GREAT! If not, good luck, because he needs one and without it I cannot see this relationship working out. He has no right to hurt you like this even if he has issues but remember that him taking out his frustration on you means that he trusts you and knows that you won't leave him no matter what hurtful things he says. If the things he says starts damaging YOU then I agree with everyone else - get out. But if he is willing to work at it I know that love will be enough.

Good luck and stay strong!