I wonder if I could have some help...

Hi guys, I am new to this forum ^__^ and well, I need advice as my friends really don't seem to have any as harsh as it sounds but they're all involved with all sorts of issues and I don't like to burden them...

So I'll cut a long story short.

I have suffered from anxiety and depression since I was 16 but not diagnosed till I was 20/21 and went on antidepressants for some time which didn't seem to help. I then took an overdose in January 2012 and went into hospital for a week in which I was very unwell and almost had to have a liver transplant. I was supposed to of got help from the NHS but they didn't do a great job and I'm starting to look for someone professional in order to get better properly.

This changed me though when I came out of hospital, I came off the antidepressants and stopped cutting myself. During this time and again since I was 16, I have had an on/off relationship with a boy who has done nothing but hurt me. But yet at the age of 22 I cannot stop seeing him. Unfortunately I became pregnant last summer and had an abortion. He left me at the hospital on my own and said he couldn't do this anymore and ended it with me then and there. I don't regret my decision but there isn't a day which goes past where I don't think about it. I wouldn't have been able to cope and he would of have to been in my life for forever more!I just want to know if anyone else has been through a similar situation and how you dealt with it? I've tried going on dates with other men but it's not fair on them when I'm still so hooked up. Apparently I have boderline personality disorder which makes sense. I was supposed to of have cognitive behavior therapy but never came through.

Although having said that, a year on...he is still in my life. I can't stop it. I can't stop texting him and seeing him every so often. He is awful, I know, he has treated me so badly in the past. Not physically but emotionally draining and he was part of the reason I did what I did last January. Anyway. I just want rid. And I need help. and advice. Because as soon as I get over him, the better.

Thanks guys x