Hormones and personality disorders

I was in a marriage with a narcissistic person, I was using progesterone as birth control at the time. I felt like I was in emotional turmoil and looking back on it notice that during the time of progesterone I developed a lot of dependent, borderline and histrionic personality traits that didn't exist prior to using the progesterone and have minimised since not having it. I didn't become promiscuous or particularly attention seeking, but did experience high anxiety, rage, and depersonalisation, people pleasing behaviour, as well as depression, and felt ignored by my husband and like everything was happening to me and I was out of control. I became avoidant of everything, My house became squallorred, I felt unable to engage with my children.
Can progesterone cause or amplify personality traits like these.
I am fairly certain my husband of 5 years had strong narcissistic traits that with steroid use, developed into a personality disorder. He developed Roid rage and was almost homicidal then He had an affair and left me 18 weeks into a planned pregnancy saying we just aren't compatible. No further explaination. I find that incredibly hard to deal with. I have no closure on it. I feel like he is now manipulating me with his ready made family for me to handy baby and our 5 year old daughter to.
This was all after the progesterone implant was removed and I was stable and making efforts to break some of the habitual behaviour that had developed over the years or progesterone use and me being respectful of his need for time and space to himself rather than me being clingy. I think I'm confused whether it was that I think I developed histrionic/borderline traits because of his projection,and gas lighting. Whether it was the progesterone that caused a lot of the issues or if I actually do have a personality disorder. I'm very confused, very pregnant and very much wanting to understand.

Hi! i agree with you on the fact that trying to understand helps us to move on.
i have often thought that hormones had something to do with a crisis i went through some years ago.
i do not think that this is the only factor, but i believe it certainly helped to make things worst.

i have my issues, but with my menopause, i hit bottom. now that the menopause is over, i still have issues, but not as extreem or as bad as when my estrogeen was extremely low.

i have had to make some basic changes to my life style, to help me cope with my limitations and stress. wish you luck!

Seems like you have a lot to sort out right now. I would try to seek a therapist instead of trying to figure it out yourself. I wouldn't automatically jump to the conclusion that you are personality disordered however.


Personally, I cannot handle regular hormonal birth control as it makes me super crazy. It intensifies all emotions, and makes me overly emotional, suicidal, anxious, a wreck. I've actually ruined two relationships because I started taking birth control, and became too much too handle. Sucks.

Thanks loise,

I have figured a lot of it out now. It's a comPlicated little web. i
I am beyond a doubt someone who had add/ADHD as a chilg though it wasn't diagnosed, as I became a teenager many OCD symptoms presented. In my twenties the OCD was less noticeable, I got post natal depression after birth of my first child and I was in a domestic violence relationship. This coincided with OCD going into overdrive. Again most of the symptoms went away or minimised until the implanon went in and then they came back with a vengeance and even more so. Hoarding and squallor being the most compromising of the symptoms. I am fairly certain of all of this. I worry about the symptoms being in over drive again post natally. I have read that both OCD and add are particularly affected by hormonal fluctuations. This is all self diagnosis based on my own research. (somewhat obsessive research) but it really all fits together. I had no understanding of add/ADHD particularly in girls until my 7 yr old daughter was diagnosed. And though I am not hyperactive I am/was very impulsive, avoidant and reactive to stress plus would get stressed out easier than other people.
I have an appointment to see psychiatrist to discuss this with him. In a non hormonal state the symptoms are barely noticeable. Just disorganised, forgetful prone to procrastination occasional preening and biting nails, and when under a lot of stress picking at pimples/skin. I am concerned though trying to do some CBT skills (learned through Internet) to try to minimise the effects because I can't see psychiatrist until the month after the baby is born.

-- Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:26 am --

Thanks loise,

I have figured a lot of it out now. It's a comPlicated little web. i
I am beyond a doubt someone who had add/ADHD as a chilg though it wasn't diagnosed, as I became a teenager many OCD symptoms presented. In my twenties the OCD was less noticeable, I got post natal depression after birth of my first child and I was in a domestic violence relationship. This coincided with OCD going into overdrive. Again most of the symptoms went away or minimised until the implanon went in and then they came back with a vengeance and even more so. Hoarding and squallor being the most compromising of the symptoms. I am fairly certain of all of this. I worry about the symptoms being in over drive again post natally. I have read that both OCD and add are particularly affected by hormonal fluctuations. This is all self diagnosis based on my own research. (somewhat obsessive research) but it really all fits together. I had no understanding of add/ADHD particularly in girls until my 7 yr old daughter was diagnosed. And though I am not hyperactive I am/was very impulsive, avoidant and reactive to stress plus would get stressed out easier than other people.
I have an appointment to see psychiatrist to discuss this with him. In a non hormonal state the symptoms are barely noticeable. Just disorganised, forgetful prone to procrastination occasional preening and biting nails, and when under a lot of stress picking at pimples/skin. I am concerned though trying to do some CBT skills (learned through Internet) to try to minimise the effects because I can't see psychiatrist until the month after the baby is born.

Thanks for your response exquisite corpse. I am going to see a psychologist about it all because the delay on when I can get into see a psychiatrist. Ill get some skills in CBT and hopefully now that I recognise my pattern of behaviour, whether my self diagnosis is right or wrong, the symptoms can be managed, which are ultimately the disruptive part of my life. Plus now that I have identified where the issues were, I can hopefully make some adjustments to my lifestyle now. I am worried but not anxious about the future now that I have this insight. I a devastated that my marriage broke down. My husband likely was a narcissist, but I think I was the cause of a lot of our issues. I do love him though and really wish it didn't have to be this way at all. I really want to have my family back, I don't think there is any chance of that though. Though he understands a lot about mental health (he is a social worker and works in mental health) he isnt willing to understand. I guess I have to let it all go, which is hard for someone who is self confessed obsessive.

Ordinary contraceptives particularly progesterone-based ones made me angry and depressed, antiandrogenic types made my skin less greasy but also made me girly and kind of spaced out. My vote after all that is no hormonal contraceptives thanks, lol.

Hi Kann!![quote="Kann"]
I have figured a lot of it out now. It's a comPlicated little web.
... Just disorganised, forgetful prone to procrastination occasional preening and biting nails, and when under a lot of stress picking at pimples/skin.
...I am concerned though trying to do some CBT skills (learned through Internet) to try to minimise the effects because I can't see psychiatrist until the month after the baby is born.

i think it is very positive that you focus on your own and on your health. Most people would focus on the other person and try to understand the why.
We are as you say complicated little webs, of genes, traumas, experiences, and many many hormones.

when i am under stress, i can barely hear! i can barely think! sometimes i will just stop in the middle of my room, because i am caught between two thoughts and can not decide which one has the priority.

you will have a baby, so it is like an emergency call to bring all your energy, strength, and care for yourself and the child. Do not worry to much trying to find solutions, because it might be possible, that some of your theories change overtime. I have. I have been looking openly for answers about three years, and I move from one corner to the other of this forum. it is not only how intricate we are,but i dare to say, that mental health until now, had only one way street.It is now that we dare to open our mouths as patients and say : i agree or not. Before the patient was a subject, a receptor, and the one who made the calls was the doctor, the no patient, the one who had a theory, nothing else.
I have realized that my first step to recovery was taking control of my health. mental, physical, spiritual. Of course i have looked for help! but like you, i have also read so much!!!
my conclusions: hormones, a big thing!! vitamin deficiency is another important field.
diet!! almost all products are manipulated, so for example we eat a lot of chicken, but i read that because of the protein they receive in their food, we get also very high dosis....i spent a month without chicken, and some chronic pain disappeared. Check how many times a day you eat,
it is recommendable to eat more often and less. For example if i have not eaten between 9 and 12, i start shaking, i become very irritable, and at some point i can not think clear anymore. So i make sure to have something on my bag.

draw horizons, for you and your children. now you do it, later on you need to do it with them. Make them simple and reachable.
do not expect big changes, too big or too soon. you are in the middle of the storm. But it will pass and you will become stronger and more in charge of yourself and of your family.

take your time to discover, to understand, but also to appreciate, to value who you are,
and how despite our limitations we are capable of so much good!!!

take one day at a time, that is all i am saying, because, if you are ok, your two kids will be ok too!!
wish you well!!

Wow that's very insightful loise. I have to say that I felt devasted and stressed, but at the same time not even close to the foggy way I'd felt while I had the implanon and at the dependent way I felt with my husband. First thing kids and I did the weekend after he left was make a list of our values. Mine and my young girls, 5 and 8 year olds. It was so hard to know whatmy personal values were, and so it was hard to know if I was living inline with them! It's been good to have them in frames in my lounge room so we are constantly reminded of them.
I can't work out a lot of the stuff that involves me and my ex but I wanted to try to work out the mental health issues of my own. Work out how severe they are, how much was projection, (if any) how much was just hormone related so I can be in the best position to be psychologically well when baby is born.

Kann wrote:Wow that's very insightful loise. I have to say that I felt devasted and stressed, but at the same time not even close to the foggy way I'd felt while I had the implanon and at the dependent way I felt with my husband. First thing kids and I did the weekend after he left was make a list of our values. Mine and my young girls, 5 and 8 year olds. It was so hard to know whatmy personal values were, and so it was hard to know if I was living inline with them! It's been good to have them in frames in my lounge room so we are constantly reminded of them.
I can't work out a lot of the stuff that involves me and my ex but I wanted to try to work out the mental health issues of my own. Work out how severe they are, how much was projection, (if any) how much was just hormone related so I can be in the best position to be psychologically well when baby is born.

Dear Kann, i admire what you have done and i will do the same. framing your principles brings a constant reminder, it is like a compass, you see with more clarity the way back to who you want to be, to how you want to live. My respect!!!

I think is amazing healthy that you recognize, that despite the pain and difficulty, you are in better shape, than in those foggy days or the dependance on your man...
i will tell you that a good person, will bring out the best in you,
if you were so dependent on him...he had the other half of this relation and was not able to properly manage it.

although my husband and i remained living together for a while, our relationship stopped ten years before we separated. it was pretty bad....that unconfortable intricacy of our own phantoms, made so difficult to "understand" what was going on....at some point, I just closed the box...i was too tired of trying to figure things out...the result is that together we did not became better persons.

I think you are doing great!! like you say figuring out what is hormones, what is related to the deterioration of your relation, etc...so that you can be at your best, waiting for that baby to be born.
Talk to your baby and to your children, explain them, how you have felt, and how you feel now.

my experience has been, that talking to my kids with honesty (without scarying them), has helped them to see that my sadness was not because of them, that my anger was not because of them,
that my tiredness was not because of them.

i know that i have made my mistakes at moments where i needed to be the column in the family and maybe i have letting my vulnerability to open....which made them unsure, about what would happen with us in the future....but now, they are teeners, and thank God, they are studying and working,
and continue to be active.....ups and down, but together understanding that we put this boat called family above the water and on the go, together!!!

i wish you serenity, strength, and lots of peace in the weeks and months to come!!!
a big hug!

Thanks loise, I appreciate it. I did talk to kids a lot initially when he firstleft, it was hard but i explained to them as much as i could then we worked oit what we need in our lives to make us happy and a strong family. Its something I wish we had done sooner, but I wasn't mentally clear enough todo it. Welisted 15-20 things that mattered to us, then I summed them up to love respect honesty and trying our best. It makes me proud of my 5 year old every time she says that something is inline with our values. We read over the 15 other things from time to time, but they are all summed up by those big 4. I am glad I inspired you.
Ifound some really useful information, though it took a fair bit of time and ruling out to get there. I don't feel anxious about the future anymore. I know without a doubt I don't have bipolar. I know without a doubt that though my marriage failed I did the best I could at the time with where I was I my life. I know I love the family I have and trying to hold onto something else is just a waste of energy.

I found this information very useful. I am amazed the sr said bipolar without investigating anything else. I know without a doubt I had a hormone Imbalance that went undiagnosed and left me a shell of a person. This is what I know to be true now. I hope it can help someone else, who might be questioning their own sanity.


In my case progestin was put into my system. For a short time this was fine. My body still made its own progesterone. No problem. Estrogen and progesterone were balanced, but Then my body stopped needing to make  progesterone because I was already tricking the reproductive system into thinking I was pregnant. So the body stopped producing progesterone, just had a constant supply of synthetic progrstin. So I became estrogen dominant. Bad enough in itself, the symptoms of this are the same as chronic fatigue, there's plenty of information about this if you know where to look. What happens next is stress levels rise, the adrenal system starts wanting to release cortisol to calm down. Problem is that adrenal system uses excess progesterone to create cortisol. But there was none. Only progestin which doesnt convert. So we come to cortisol deficiency. With no cortisol, the adrenal system goes into fight, flight or fright mode at the slightest stressor and It soon becomes depleted, which is called adrenal fatigue. Theres a number of sites about this. In adrenal fatigue the body often gets copper toxicity, the symptoms of that are there too. The body craves sugar to create more adrenalin, but the stimulants end up creating more stress by keeping the sugar levels down, the adrenal system goes into overdrive, it takes o n all this sugar, has to regulate it though, so although the stimulants, sugar/caffeine/etc give relief for a little while it takes more energy to regulate the blood sugar And it keeps cycling getting worse and worse each time.
The point is, this is a basic run down of how the hormones all became out of balance for me and the side effects of it all. It's making me make a lot of changes. The biggest hurdle was getting progestin out. That makes the world of difference, but there is Cutting out sugar and caffeine and limiting very much, processed food to go and lowering copper intake. I had low cortisol, low progesterone and adrenal fatigue and likely copper toxicity. And definitely estrogen dominance. Brain fog was the biggest symptom for me. I didn't realise how foggy it was until I got pregnant and the progesterone came back, and then I was clear headed. Not estrogen dominant anymore. Not a stressed out lunatic anymore. Thankfully. I knew the progestin caused me problems but didn't know how, it frustrated me to know something but not be able to piece it all together. I have now and it's so common it is ridiculous. I hope this can help someone else now or in the future.

http://www.adrenalfatigue.org/hypoglycemia

http://www.tvernonlac.com/copper-toxicity.html

http://www.thedoctorwithin.com/women/ev ... apter-now/