My story of us....what should we do?

I've been living in a foreign country for the past 2.5yrs...this is where i met my current boyfriend. We've been together for 2years now.....and it's been a very rocky road.
I'm going to tell the story of our relationship...the raw truth...and I'd like to hear your advice/comments about whether we should still be together or not....I just don't know....or can't face the truth.

When we met, i admit, i was still very immature and was not in a position of taking responsibility for my actions. I used to go out drinking with friends, drink too much and unfortunately, i acted promiscuously. We met at a bar. I was really drunk. I had to ask him his name again the next day. But, we were attracted to eachother immediately. We were, actually, crazy about eachother.
So, a couple of weeks into dating eachother, i went out with friends and while at a bar, very drunk, I kissed another guy. The next day i didn't remember. It wasn't till a coupe weeks later my friend asked me what I was doing kissing that guy if I'm dating my current Bfriend. I was horrified. I immediately told (X we'll call him) the truth. I was sorry and never intended to do it and it would never happen again. ( i was unable to control myself when I drank but yet i continued to do so).
He was outraged. He said that if thats the type of girl I am that he doesn't want ot be with me. But,...he felt as stongly as i did about eachother, so we gave it another try, with th econdition that it would never happen again.
A month later I went to (an exotic location on vacation) with my girlfriend. I am telling you in 100% honesty that i am not a cheater and I did not want to be witn anyone else....but, one night ( the one night I drank) I got really drunk...and I kissed a guy. Again.
When i got back i did not tell him. I told myself that it wa snot t big deal and that i didn't need to tell him. He asked me if anything happend...more than once...and I said "no, I promise....no, I swear on my grandfather"( who had recently passed away. Oh, the guilt.
So, months later....after many happy months...Gray got really drunk one night...we were fighting...he asked me about that vacation...if anything had happened. I told him...okay, i kissed a guy, that was all.
He lost it. He went into a fit of rage like I've never seen before. He called me a liar, a cheater, a whore, trash....and anyhting else derrogatory u can think of. We broke up...he moved out. ( we had been living together for a fe wmonths).
A week later we're back together. Suckers for punishment i guess. We decide to try to work it out. We don't want to lose eachother...we say.
We both decide to quit drinking. ...To make a long story a little shorter...there are a couple of more instances of doubt ( in relapse of drinking)...when Gray has not trusted me and my behaciour was quesitonable)....we've broken up a couple of times since. In November 2005, we both wrote a declaration, a vow, to never drink again. I got my parents and bother to sign both of ours. The thing is....I don't have a problem if I don't drink. I'm not that type of person...but alcohol changes me. And, yes, I admitted that I had a drinking problem because even though i knew it was harming me and others i love i continued to do it. ( I grew up in an enviornment of alcoholics).
So, since November there has been no problems relating to the past issues....outwardly that is.
I feel it though. I feel that he doesn't trust me. He says it will just take time, but I don't like this feeling.
Threre is so much to this story that I feel bad even starting it cause there is so much that u don't know.
i just don' know if to much has happened for us to be able to stay together. i can;t forget the stupid things I've done...and I can't forget the things he has said to me. I can't forgive myself.
I wonder if the only way to forgive and forget is to part ways and not be reminded daily of the past.
The thing is, ...we've tried to break up so many times....we always end up staying together. I like being with him. I love him.
He loves me too.

Hear my 15 year old opinion...
Try to cut drinking down and try to be as happy as you can get without it.