problem

Hi,
I'm new here and I'm not really sure whether this is the appropriate place to post a new topic - if not - would the moderator please move to the correct place? Thanks in advance.


I am 22 and gay. I have known I was gay since a very young age, I'm happy with my sexuality.


I am the type of person who likes to be dating somebody all the time. I like to think I am a good looking guy with nice qualities . I don't want to be changing who the person is I am dating all the time, but I understand that you have to kiss a few frogs to find the one that suits you. I've met one who I do like and we share a lot in common. A few months ago when we first started speaking everything was great. Then I started to have doubts about whether he was really for me and we fell out and stopped speaking. Earlier this week he messaged me out of the blue saying did we want to talk again as a friends etc. I replied and since he replied it's like nothing ever changed and we are back to normal. I now realize I made a mistake and like him. I think one of the reasons I originally thought he was not for me is because I am "picky". I try to myself that being picky will result in me always being single because that perfect person just does not exist. If I was going to date ME then I would definitely be put off because I have some really weird thoughts/behavior/attitude.


Things I do which I seem to get a "kick from " mostly on a sexual level.

Text other guys asking them to contact guys I have contacted previously dated/met to see if they are a "slut" and to see if they will engage in other sexual conversations with that person. I ask if I can see the conversations, again as I get a kick out of it. This is completely WRONG , I am giving this persons number to somebody they have never even spoke to, and they lie to make the person think they met on a mutual basis. It's very pre planned and quite simply stupid. For some reason I can get huge amount of sexual entertainment out of this. Once I've ejaculated I delete the message/thread and try to forget about it. I'm so horny though I'll start it back up again with somebody else and it all starts again...

I'll walk home in such a specific way where it is quiet/private and I know there is some attractive guys and I'll pretend to piss against a wall so I know they could potentially see me doing this as they walk past. I do it on a regular basis and it is now become a habit. I don't always have a piss but I will walk home that way and keep my eyes out for anybody who looks like my type. Or I'll ask them as they walk past me, and I'll slow down so they catch up with me, if they know where the nearest toilet is. I'm so horny that it makes it so easy to ask them the question. Then I see them in my local area when I'm sort of in my "normal professional" mode and I get embarrassed if I am seen by them.


I am addicted to sex so much so that I am constantly calling escorts for sex chat. I am always horny and masturbating multiple times within a short space of time is not unusual for me. I am a happy person but often feel depressed and I feel that I can suffer from BDD . To try and curb my feelings of BDD I like to socialise with a higher social class, buy expensive clothing, act narcistically with those around me to feel better than them.

I don't know what is causing me to do these things. What I am doing / thinking is not good....

Any help appreciated.

Yeah, I think this belongs in the Sexuality forum.