Cancer vs relationship

I was informed that my father is likely to be suffering from cancer phase IV.
I live abroad and got desperate to hear that especially since I have a little child living with me (2.5 years old).
I cogitated with my girlfriend the opportunity for us to move abroad for a few months while my father is ill so that he also had the chance to enjoy the presence of his only granddaughter. This came to the dismay of my wife which thinks that he has to "protect" her life and the life of the child and so refuses to move abroad with me for this period of months. Financials wouldn't be a problem.

My question is, am I being to extreme? For me, spending time with my father, maybe the last few months is vital, but at the same time, having a 2.5 years old child over 10 000 km away for 6 months is unthinkable, so the suggestion.

What should I do? Am I being too extreme?

Thanks for any advice.

I'm truly sorry to hear about your father and my thoughts are with you. This is a sad time for you, but it can also be a time when you can make memories, albeit bittersweet memories. I can see both sides here. It would be huge wrench to spend so much time in a distant place, and possibly confusing for your daughter. However, it's important that the bond between grandfather and granddaughter is made. Do you know, it transpired in my therapy that I was still grieving for my grandmother who died when I was only two years old? I have clear memories of her. Two year olds are more astute than people realise. I can remember being kept away from the funeral, and feeling ignored. It is important that you include your daughter, showing her photographs, videos, talking on skype if this is possible and giving her a clear picture of who her grandfather is. If you can explain at a level that she can understand, in a way that doesn't scare her, about your father's illness, she will not feel excluded. There may also be books specifically aimed at children about illness and cancer that you could read to her. A cancer support group might be able to give you information about these.

It's also important that your father's last memories are as happy as they can be and that he gets an opportunity to bond with his granddaughter. These times will be very precious and perhaps should be recorded by photographs and a camcorder as a permanent memory. Do you think that a compromise might be possible, with you and your family visiting for an extended time that isn't quite so long? Nearer the time, you may want to visit alone, explaining everything to your daughter, and keeping in touch with her when you are away. It is important that you are as honest as you can be with her, at a level appropriate for her age.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Stay with your father. Life is too short and much shorter for him.