Why is he doing that to her?!

About a week after my boyfriend (lets call him Zach) and I had spilt up last May, after 8 months of dating, he began dating my friend (and she shall be Megan). They have been together for almost a year now and she just told me about a problem they have been having for a while now. Everyone I asked said that they did have a problem, it was obvious that they were deeply in love, but Megan says otherwise. Zach has ADHD and uses marijuana, he also gets very mad VERY easily. Megan notices that he has been avioding her lately, and whenever they go out somewhere together, he walks off and either leaves or hangs out with his friends... leaving her standing alone. Recently there was a concert in our town, and Zach and Megan went... but about an hour into the concert, Zach, Megan's date and ride home, left without even telling her. I ended up bringing her home. The next night she called me and told me she confrounted Zach about the night before. He yelled at her and called her a burden to him, and told her that she was a waste of his time. Obviously upset with this she started crying, and instead of trying to comfort her like any normal guy would do, he told her to shut up and left. Then she called me, I suggested breaking up with him, cause he wasn't going to change. So she did. He broke down and started crying and told her that he couldn't live without her (which is a line I heard MANY TIMES from him, and my other friend he dated before me heard it alot too) So she took him back, and he was okay for a little while... Now he is worse. And there is nothing she can do about it cause she actually loves him and he 'loves' her. I don't know how else to help her. HELP!
-kellmabel

I noticed your sig. No, real love stories don't end, but guess what? Real love doesn't allow someone to abuse you, either. When you love someone you hold them to a standard of behaviour that reflects the best they can be. They're not always going to hit that mark, but you know it's there, and they know it's there. If they abuse you, you can go right on loving them. Love them like crazy. Just don't go out with them, because they'll do something horrible that will hurt you, hurt them, and ruin everything.

You heard the line, girlfriend before heard the line, and now she's heard the line, and the line means --- nothing. He'll live. And if she loves him, she's going to say, "you know what? I believe you do love me. And because you love me, I think I'm going to respect myself too much to let you hurt me like this and treat me so badly. When you can be somewhat under control, we'll give it another try."

Just a thought.

I believe that 'Zach' has too many problems. Even if he wanted to help change it, it would take a Considerable amount of time and effort. Essentially what i'm trying to say is...don't give any chance to him ever changing into a decent person.

I think you gave your friend the right advice by telling her to dump him. And yes, unfortunately she fell for the line "I can't live without you." The thing with lines is...that they're just that. Lines. Nothing more. It's the same as when a guy says: "Let's have sex to see how it would feel and enhance our relationship, emotionally." They are just meaningless lines meant to affect the other person.

If your friend doesn't get out of this relationship, then she will end up being hurt. There are many reasons why people hang on to relationships. Far too many to mention here, such as 'this one is better than my last relationship, so i'll stick with it' or 'if i'm not with him, will i find someone else? I don't want to be alone' and etc...

You need to talk to your friend. Find out Why she wants to go back to him even with all his problems, then be a friend. Give her advice that will help her feel better about herself, and the possibility of better relationships. Keep in mind that love blinds. If she actually thinks she's in love with him, and vice versa, then there's not much you can do. But as a friend, you need to make sure you give her all the warnings, and be there for her when she needs it.

I want to thank you for posting this to try and help your friend. It's very noble of you, and I wish you and your friend the best of luck with it.

Thank you, thank you very much for your advise!