do i love him?

if you're reading this...thanks! and I hope you respond because I would love some advice. I have been dating this awesome guy for a year and I think I really love him. But I do this thing in my head (this may sound a little crazy) where I say "I dont love him." This sounds so silly because if I am thinking that, it must mean I dont love him! But the thought of that makes me cringe! There are times throughout the day where I feel like I really do love him alot! He is the kind of guy I would pick for myself to be with for the rest of my life. I love most everything about him! (every guy has a few flaws:)) it makes me cry to know that I may lose him because of this and I cant marry a guy if I am thinking these thoughts. My brain tells me no, but my heart is telling me yes and I am soooo confused!
Here is the other part of the story...recently we broke up to take some time to think about things. It has been hell for me. I hate being without him, but the thoughts still continue and its driving me crazy. He is wanting to possibly work things out again (b/c we do have things to work on as a couple) but should I try to date other people to see if I do the same thing with them? I think that since I have obsessed over the fact that I have been thinking "i dont love him" so much that I will do it with every guy, even the one i marry and that just sounds crazy. i feel like im losing my mind. i really want to hang on to this guy if it is meant to be but i want these thoughts to stop! any help??? thanks!

Ok. so what is it about him that makes you feel you dont love him?
Is he doing something to upset you that leaves you with doubts?
I dont understand.... are you saying that when you are away from him, even if the time you have spent with him has been good, and he has not made you feel bad in anyway, that you are still thinking that you dont love him??
Love is a feeling. It isnt a fact. We can say we love someone a million times a day, but it is actions that SHOW we love someone, that is how we know we are loved, by someones loving actions.

You say that you have things to work on as a couple. Could it be that these things are your core values? Do they not tie up with his?

You cannot change someone. You have to accept them as they are, and you seem to realise this from your post.

Perhaps you should try and explain or realise what other things are happening that lead up to your thoughts of 'i dont love him'.

Are you scared of total commitment for some reason?

How old are you, you seem young like late teens early 20's

like guest said, love is a feeleing not a fact, you should know if you love him or not.

Could be self-sabotage; i.e. this is what you really want, therefore, you cannot have it. Could be fear of abandonment; you are so afraid of being left, and so sure that anyone who really got to know you would leave you, that you must leave them first, before they get the chance. I had that.

Are you afraid? Have you let him get close to you, really? When I was at my self-sabotaging worst, I feared what was in me, more than I feared him. I feared what he would see if I let him get close.

You broke up and you're not relieved, you're not feeling wow, glad that's over?

Scr*w your head, go with your heart. Just my opinion.

I think if you're this ga-ga over this man, you'll not give another man an even chance. So don't bother dating anyone else just yet.

My best advice is learn to be ok with yourself first. You are quite capable of being happy without a man in your life, even this man!
Explore that posibility.
If you feel like you can't live without him, that isn't love.

What dating 'others' really does, is help you find your true feelings for someone. If you are truly in love with them, they will be on your mind the whole time, and you won't enjoy your date as much as you enjoy the time with that person.

You start to remember the things they do which make you happy, and you learn to appreciate him more and vice versa. However...If it turns out he's really Not that great of a guy, then this new person you're dating, could be a great way to point out the things you don't like about your boyfriend. Everybody and I mean EVERYBODY has flaws. The question is, can you find someone who's willing to work on their flaws for you.

I honestly think, based on what you've written, that you could benefit from dating someone else. As I said..at the end of the day, if you truly love him, and he's actually a good guy, your feelings for him will increase.

Good luck!