I absolutely can't stand my boyfriend's female friend?

I'll warn right now, this is a long post!
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 months now, though it feels like it's been 3 years. We're madly in love and both cannot imagine life without each other.
First you should know that I'm not afraid for our relationship in any way. He has expressed his love for me so many times and in so many ways, I know he's perfect for me. This problem is the only thing that tears us apart: his female best friend, and how he talks about her. (and honestly, breaking up over a friend is ridiculous, so I know that's not going to happen)
At first, I was open to try to like her and really didn't have a problem with her at all. (which is a big deal for me since I've always been wary of female friends of a boyfriend)
Then I found that they are ALWAYS hanging out. And I mean always - every other day at least. Going out to dinner, hanging around each others houses, etc. She lives about 15 minutes away from him, and I live an hour and 20 minutes away, so I rarely get to be around him :/ I will admit right now that I am jealous of how much time she gets to spend with him, and how little I get to.
The first thing that really upset me about her is that she begged him to let her come to his tattoo appointment, and he agreed to it. I had REALLY wanted to go to that appointment, but I wasn't able to because of school. This made me feel like since I wasn't able to go, she was the next best thing - a replacement. The same night he went with her to get a piercing. I told him that I was upset about it right away.
So right there made me dislike her already.
The next thing that made me upset about her is that she tried to get him to live with her. They had attempted to move in together even before he met me, but it never worked out, so I can't be upset about that really. BUT she continued to pursue it after him and I started dating - She KNOWS we're dating, yet she still did that. That's what angered me. It was like a huge slap in the face.
What made me even more upset is that my boyfriend doesn't think it's strange AT ALL that they were going to be living together. I don't understand why I was the one who was in the wrong here, getting mad at this. I would NEVER move in with a guy friend, even if I was single. In my mind it's just extremely inappropriate.
This next reason I can't stand her, is pretty big. She has been in a 4 year relationship. NOT ONCE have they used any form of birth control - including condoms. She's gotten pregnant twice, and aborted both babies. I'll be honest, to me she is just as bad as a rapist, and deserves to go to jail. Obviously it is her decision what she does with her body, I'm not anti-choice! The thing that REALLY makes me SO angry, is how stupid and irresponsible she is. Then she goes crying to MY boyfriend about it, and I'm put on hold so they can go talk. I really don't get how someone can believe that this is 100% OK. But my boyfriend thinks it is. He completely supports her, and even viciously fought me about it - protected and defended HER, against me. It seems he rationalizes everything she does as being OK since she is his friend. He makes HER the victim, when clearly she is the antagonist.
Besides all of this, when I met her, she seemed like the type of person who changes their personality many times to gain attention - as one point she would be very quiet and kept to herself, and the next moment she's laughing obnoxiously and running her hands all over her boyfriend.
I have expressed these feelings to my boyfriend very thoroughly. He said to try to give her another chance, as she was going to tag along to a concert with her boyfriend and us. If I still had bad feelings about her, then he would take care of the situation. No idea what that means, though.

Please believe me, I've spent endless hours trying to find it in me to attempt to like her, but it's simply impossible for me. I've tried finding her to be a good person, but it just can't happen for me. So, please don't tell me to "just get over it" or "suck it up", etc. I can't.
Again, this is the only issue that we have in our relationship.
Advice would be much appreciated! Please no rude comments
Thank you!

I also despise people who chose abortion as a method of birth control. A four year relationship really calls for birth control pills when she doesn't even want to give birth or have the finances for it.
She seems inconsiderate of you. She has a boyfriend so there isn't much reason for her to cling to yours.

She might be really need and even just attached to him in a friendly way, but that doesn't justify getting between two people.

shutin wrote:I also despise people who chose abortion as a method of birth control. A four year relationship really calls for birth control pills when she doesn't even want to give birth or have the finances for it.
She seems inconsiderate of you. She has a boyfriend so there isn't much reason for her to cling to yours.

She might be really need and even just attached to him in a friendly way, but that doesn't justify getting between two people.

thanks for responding
yeah, I wouldn't really have a problem with her getting abortions if she had actually tried to prevent pregnancy. You would think after the first abortion she'd be much more careful, but she wasn't at all. My boyfriend pities her and that bothers me so much! Getting too many abortions can lead to infertility as well, so that's a less than intelligent move on her part.
She is 20 years old, by the way. And I'm 18. I've actually been on the pill for a few months now.
My boyfriend does listen to what I have to say though, and actually cares very much, so I really appreciate that.

3 months isn't a very long time for a relationship. It's not time for him to reshape his entire life as though you're going to be with him for the rest of his life. Eventually it might be time but I don't think it is right now. But his interaction with this female friend is definitely problematic and your feelings toward her are justified in my view.