Depressed EX GF dumped me for no reason. HELP!

Sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong section but I'm new here so not sure where to post.

My ex (26 years old) and I (28 years old) went out for close to 4 months and it was amazing. We shared very good chemistry and we both got very comfortable with each other. Then out of nowhere 2 weeks ago she tells me that we need to end things. Now my ex suffers from depression and is seeing a therapist and is on medication as well. She wanted to be self reliant and focus on her career and that's why she broke up according to her reasons. She also said that she's been continuously in relationships since she was 17 years old and she needs a break from all this. According to her she has been depending a lot on other people for her happiness and she now wants to be self happy. She however still wanted us to remain friends and I accepted that.

Now the confusing part is that she called me for a week every day after we broke up and I did the same. We met 1-2 times a week just as friends. Although its difficult for me to not act like her BF anymore I still went with it because I think she needs her space and time to figure things out. She's also mentioned that she has been thinking about suicide as well and so I'm more worried about her. I don't want to leave her when she's at her worst because I've been with her when she was at her best and she's amazing. I don't want to abandon her when she's going through this depressive state. I'm not sure if she's seeing someone else or not. I asked her when we broke up and she said no there is no one else. I just need to do this for myself. However, she was supposed to meet me on evening but she cancelled at the last minute saying she has to rush home because her parents were fighting. She comes from a very abusive home where here parents keep fighting all the time. Her dad has even told her that she will never find any guy who will like her and it'll be a relief if someone takes her from his hands. So I understood when she cancelled. We were supposed to attend a concert together the next day and I texted her in the night asking if things are stable at home and if she still wants to go for the concert. She replied after an hour or so saying "Yes..I just want to run away like always". Then she calls me at 5:30 in the morning asking me whether we can leave for the concert now because once she goes home she won't be able to come out again. I thought she said she had to rush home previous night because of problems at home so I ask her and she tells me that she didn't go home..instead she just went to her building rooftop and had beer all night. I was kinda surprised on hearing this. When we were together, we both went to her rooftop and hung out there all night drinking and stuff.

Now she has completely disconnected from me. She won't reply to my normal platonic texts or my mails which I only send once a week. I just want to be in touch with her because I know she's upset but I don't know how to and whether I should or not. I texted her the other day saying I'm still here for you and she told me I shouldn't wait for her because waiting is never good and that she would appreciate more if I cared from distance. Then she tells me that she misses hanging out with me and we will meet soon. Its been more then a week since then but no contact from her. We have not spoken to each other since last 2 weeks and I have not seen her for maybe 15 days or so now. How do I approach this situation? She went from being extremely caring and affectionate towards me to completely ending everything. She kissed me a day before we broke up and said everything was fine. Is this just because of her depression or did she really mean to break up with me? I've been trying to figure out what went wrong between us and I'm coming up with zilch. Nothing went wrong between us. On my part though, one day before she broke up with I did tell her that it seemed like she was taking me for granted since she kept disappearing on me especially over weekends. She told me that she doesn't disappear but just sits home and watches TV since she doesn't like getting out of the house. She's just got a new job after 6 months of searching for one and she stopped showing up at work too for 4 days. Instead she was just at home watching TV. Do you'll think I shouldn't have told her that she is taking me for granted? Maybe that set off the wave and she broke up with me because she couldn't cope with relationship and a job. I just don't know anything!

Sorry if this is too long. Just had to put it all out there. Would like to know some view points on this. Thanks!

I stopped trying to figure out what motivates women's actions years ago. It's hardly ever what they say it is and I don't have the personal reference to figure out what it is myself. The only things that you know for certain are the concrete facts like she asked to break up with you and stated such and such, she's been meeting up with you on a weekly basis, etc.

Hi Kabuhi,

Thanks for reverting. However I think the issue is more complex then just trying to figure out what motivates her actions. Before being my GF, we've been friends for last couple of years. Not close friends but just normal hanging out on few occasions kinda friends. She seemed fine when you hang out with her. Its when you get to know that she's suffering from mental illness that you realize her true behavior. We've stopped hanging out completely and she does not even reply to my texts which I only send once a week or so just to let her know that I'm still around and thinking about her. I've read on other forums that I should even stop doing that and just leave her alone and give her space. Move on with my life. But its difficult moving on without any closure. She won't even meet me and talk to me. I don't even want to talk about what happened. I just want to meet and hang out with her like we used to and have fun. I'm beginning to have doubts about whether she has met someone else or not. Certain times it seems like she has and she doesn't care about me anymore and I should just give up. But I don't want to give up on girl who's been so open with me about her life and who's even told me that she's having suicidal thoughts. I want to fight for her because she's worth it.

Hope you understand better now about where I'm coming from!

Thanks!

Oh yeah. I'm sure the issue is more complex that finding out what motivates her actions. I'm sure you're concerned about her as a person and also have lingering attachments to her as a girlfriend which is creating discomfort due to the status of your relationship with her.

I apologize if what I said came across as cold or blunt. I generally address things in a matter-of-fact, blunt way because that's the way I approach issues and life in general. I'm simply pointing out my perceived futility of trying to understand the thinking process behind her actions. There's no malice towards her or towards yourself. If you want to fight for her, then fight for her. If the relationship still ends up coming to an end, then so be it. Again not intentionally trying to be cold, I'm just kind of blunt and don't really dick around too much when it comes to things like this.

Personally, I wouldn't have told her she's taking me for granted but what's done is done. I don't see the point of trying to psychoanalyze her to see how every action you take may have impacted her behavior. Heck, it might have even improved your relationship with her. Who knows? If I had to guess one action would have had a marginal impact on her behavior, but again who knows? I don't understand women, but I don't try to understand every little thing that women do. Is it such a big deal either way? It's not like you punched her in the face and broke her nose.

So maybe you might have made her a little comfortable? Should you go out of your way to make sure that you step on her toes ever again? Of course not.