Forever Lonely

I am and pretty much always have been a very lonely guy. Let’s start back at the beginning. Through my childhood I moved around quite a bit. Since I am quite shy it always took quite a while to meet friend, and just as I did start to meet friend it was time to move. Each time we moved it seemed to get harder and harder, and finally I just became a loner. Growing up that way I believe I may have not developed my socialization as well as I would have liked. I am currently 28 years of age and have only gone out with one woman I met on the internet, although it only lasted a month due to her just having way to much emotional baggage. Now people tell me I should just go out on the town and talk to women, which is easier, said than done. I have tried this, and I can never make it through small talk, and have even tried to practice by going out and telling myself that my goal is to talk to x amount of women that night. I don't know what to do, pretty much my only friends right now are my sibling who I hang out with, and in the next year will all be leaving town to start or upgrade their lives. I fear that I will be completely alone then. This has even caused some problems with my friendships with them, as they never fail to seem to have a girl by their side, and I cannot figure out how they do it. I just get jealous of their happiness from time to time. I am a nice, kind, warm, and sensitive guy, and people tell me that a girl would be lucky to meet me. But I fear the old saying is true, “Nice guys do finish last". If any one has any advice Let me know

Don
Cincinnati, OH

I respect men who recognize that they will not be or sound cool all the time; that's just reality. So go to bars, walk up to women who appeal to you, and quietly, nicely, introduce yourself ("Hi, I'm Don, I own this building" is good, but not required), and offer to buy them a drink or dance with them. If you can't dance, learn. If you don't drink, start.

Ever been on a blind date? Friends are great with appropriating other friends to torture this way. I met my husband when my friend asked him over to dinner while I was staying with her. Time will tell whether that was a good thing, or not.... Poor guy. Suffering in matrimony with me for 15 years now.

And while we're at it, immediately go get a haircut, and some nice clothes. Nobody cares about the real you. You can be the real you after you're married, just like all the other married men.

Good luck, sugar.

hi,i really simpatize with u cos i know what it is like to be lonly and feel the way you do.we are almost the same,but in my own case i am not as shy as u are but i am lonly and i really hope you are as nice as u claim to be .cos am tired of heartbreaks.maybe we could work it out.if u re intrested u can call me on this number 234-8030681661.will be waiting.

You are not the only one. I'm another lonely person on the other side of the country. Worse than you, I'm the only child. Lonely since birth.

Dude,
You are ok. You really need to socialize more. What kind of support group do you have... I mean buddies (men and women) who are really supportive and help increase your self esteem ? The more friends you have, the more chance you will meet someone worth your time. Join a fitness club or take a class at the college.

Best of luck.

Bigd43606

I know how you feel, I too am a loner myself. However, it's hard to be a loner and have no friends or girlfriend. You need one of the two to have some balance within your life.

It sounds like your problem lies with how you communicate with woman. Since you yourself admit to having a lack of social skills you have actually pin-pointed the problem right there. Your not going to get a female interested in who you are if you can't keep her interested.

Small talk is something you should work on. Try going out to social scenes with your sibling for fun. Don't go with the inent to pick up girls but more as practice on how to approach women. Try to learn how to establish conversation and comfortabilty when doing so.

You can even search the net for sights on how to approach women and sustain meaningful conversation. Hint: making them laugh is always key.