End of my Rope

I need help in seeing the big picture. I feel like I'm being suffocated in my current relationship. My boyfriend of 2 years has strangled the life out of me. I was once a happy, funny, beautiful girl. Now, I cry every day and every night. My boyfriend has gone from being a knight in shining armor to a foul mouthed jerk. But I love him. Crazy? Maybe. He says I'm crazy. He is a master at turning everything on me. If he spilled a dish of milk, it would somehow be my fault. Everything that goes wrong is my fault. He calls me "stupid" and "idiot" and "crazy" or "psycho". I get better grades than he does in school--but yet, I'm the stupid one. Maybe I am stupid because I am still with him. I'd give him anything. I have given him everything I have to give. It's not enough. He's made me quit things that I love because he wants more of my time devoted to him. Then, he says that we spend too much time together --but it's too late because I've already quit my hobbies and interests. He controls who I am friends with. I can't take it anymore. I am at the end of my rope. I told him this morning that sometimes he makes me so upset that I feel like I want to die...He told me that I had to deal with my feelings on my own because he was "eating a sandwich and busy at the time"
Someone help me through this.

Wow. Sounds like a keeper.

How old are you? Reason I ask is because if you're young enough, you have enough ahead of you where this guy will be a distant memory in about 6 months, if that.

I suggest picking up your hobbies and remembering what made you happy before the two of you got together. Start doing what you loved to do (or better yet, try something totally different) to gain that soul back that you lost whenever your bf tries to change your life around. If that fails to bring happiness back in your life, dump him. If he doesn't let you dump him, the police should be around the corner to let you dump him without harrassment.

And make sure that your priorities are laid out like you want them. This guy should understand your passions in life and allow you to follow them, whether they be friends, careers, or normal hobbies. If not, that means he knows that potential friends of yours won't like him, and then he'll have to defend himself.

Wow. Sounds like a keeper.

How old are you? Reason I ask is because if you're young enough, you have enough ahead of you where this guy will be a distant memory in about 6 months, if that.

I suggest picking up your hobbies and remembering what made you happy before the two of you got together. Start doing what you loved to do (or better yet, try something totally different) to gain that soul back that you lost whenever your bf tries to change your life around. If that fails to bring happiness back in your life, dump him. If he doesn't let you dump him, the police should be around the corner to let you dump him without harrassment.

And make sure that your priorities are laid out like you want them. This guy should understand your passions in life and allow you to follow them, whether they be friends, careers, or normal hobbies. If not, that means he knows that potential friends of yours won't like him, and then he'll have to defend himself.

AquaFINa wrote:I need help in seeing the big picture. I feel like I'm being suffocated in my current relationship. My boyfriend of 2 years has strangled the life out of me. I was once a happy, funny, beautiful girl. Now, I cry every day and every night. My boyfriend has gone from being a knight in shining armor to a foul mouthed jerk. But I love him. Crazy? Maybe. He says I'm crazy. He is a master at turning everything on me. If he spilled a dish of milk, it would somehow be my fault. Everything that goes wrong is my fault. He calls me "stupid" and "idiot" and "crazy" or "psycho". I get better grades than he does in school--but yet, I'm the stupid one. Maybe I am stupid because I am still with him. I'd give him anything. I have given him everything I have to give. It's not enough. He's made me quit things that I love because he wants more of my time devoted to him. Then, he says that we spend too much time together --but it's too late because I've already quit my hobbies and interests. He controls who I am friends with. I can't take it anymore. I am at the end of my rope. I told him this morning that sometimes he makes me so upset that I feel like I want to die...He told me that I had to deal with my feelings on my own because he was "eating a sandwich and busy at the time"
Someone help me through this.

That sounds exactly like my ex bf who was a sociopath...

what's keeping you there with him? you might say "because i love him", but please explain what it is you love about him. cause i can't imagine it's the name-calling and the blaming everything on you that you love...