Need some friendship advice.

Hi everyone I am Tash and am new to the forum

I am in desperate need of an outside perspective.

I was born with Turners syndrome and this has caused some major self esteem issues with me.
I have to continually work on myself everyday to try hang I'm there.

Ok so the advice I need:

I have had this friend for 11 years now. Growing up as an only child did cause me to be lonely so certain friends of mine have become like sisters to me. I consider them family. So this particular friend of mine from the time I met her I immediately felt a connection. She became a role model for me in lots of ways. I put her on this pedestal immediately. She was beautiful, outgoing, popular and a talented singer everything I wished I could be.

When she was singing and everything I understood she had a busy life and so she couldn't make much time for me. So the only way I could see her sometimes was if my mom drove me out her way.My friend though she could drive only came out to see me maybe three times in all those years, yet she only stayed like a half hour drive from me.

So I would go support her at most of her shows. Just to be there in the audience to clap the loudest for her. i cant tell you, the amount of places my mom drove me to just so I could be there. The one time I bought a friend with to see her show and she left without even saying goodbye. Also she once told me that she could only concentrate on the people who were there around her everyday.

I just brushed things under the carpet though and carried on with our friendship as usual.
Then she got married and had a beautiful little girl. I totally get that priority's shift and I wouldn't expect anything else of her.
What gets to me is virtually our entire friendship it's me who initiates contact. If I don't message or call her, then I pretty much don't hear from her. i don't expect her to message me everyday or call or the time. I get that she is a mom and wife now. Even before she was married it was the same and I kept on making excuses for her. All I would like is a message every so often saying that she is thinking of me etc. without it being in reply to my message. I see that with a couple of her other friends she manages to leave a little message for them. So why am i different. It just really hurts sometimes. I've given so much to this friendship and to be honest all I think she sees me as us a good friend. Not a close friend of hers at all, whereas I consider her family.
I am going home for Christmas now and she had moved to the coast so I am flying all the way from London and then flying again to see her. I know if I hadn't done that though she would never have made a plan to come see me otherwise, while I was at home.

Do you think I am expecting too much?? I really need an outside perspective.

Thanks so much

Friendship should not be a one-sided, we could not clap in one hand. So if it fails to be a perfect match, then why don't you bother about this. Because she has now her personal life. It's better to extend your personal life now, you 'll be quite happy then...

Its just hard for me as I care about her and her family very much.

I just always doubt myself thinking maybe im just being too needy or something and its all due to my issues. I keep wondering maybe if im expecting too much and that i should just enjoy the friendship for what it is and then just try and be less giving. So that its not one sided.

Its just the type of person I am with my close friends. I always check they are ok and keep in touch.

I do know i need to be more assertive though otherwise i wont get very far in life.
I need to try let go a bit. Then it wont be so draining and upsetting for me.

Its hundred percent right friendship and love should be not one sided . I think Its just the type of person I am with my close friends. I always check they are ok and keep in touch.What is your personal opinion about it i am also interested in this topic .Share your thinking about it .