I feel like a jerk

A nice girl rejected a subtle show of interest from myself in favor of another guy. I remained friendly, joking with her daily to show there were no hard feelings, but cut the conversations short to respect her space. The other guy is kind of a bully and a player and would cut me down whenever he could in front of her to try to win her over. He also already had another girl friend for which he was the father of her two children (although not married) he was living with. Once he won this other girl over, he came to me to boast of his expoits because he knew I had liked her and he wanted to stroke his ego and asert himself as alpha male.

A year went by in which this girl was nice to me put pretty much treated me like yesterdays corn beef. Then she suddenly realized what a **** this guy is and came running to me complaining this guy is a zero and wanted to know if i still cared for her? I did care, but I was hurt and I felt like I would be a door mat if I just consoled her, so I simply said no real cool like I was selling insurance and changed the subject. She seemed surprisingly upset by this. I struggled for days wondering if I should tell her my true feelings but, given her actions (she knew I was a 'nice' guy and still fell for this guy's chest pounding even though she knew he already had a gf) i felt that no matter what she said or how upset she seemed, my feelings for her really couldn't possibly matter to her. So, I said nothing more.

My probelm is I feel like a jerk. I was too close to the situation, my feelings and ego were hurt and I let my pride make me say something that wasn't true in a not very nice way. (I didn't say anything mean, I just was curt and didn't give her a chance to explain). We all make mistakes, and maybe I should have listened. Do you think I did the right thing or was I a jerk?

I can totally relate to you not wanting to feel like second fiddle to this other guy, and there is nothing wrong with taking up for yourself. If you feel like you were harsh with her, and want to tell her your true feelings, here's my opinion:
Go to her, be honest with her about your feelings BUT tell her that you feel as if she has not treated you fairly and that is why you were short with her. Apologize if you feel the need, and tell her that you do not want to be "second fiddle". If she truly does feel the way about you she says she does (and isn't just wanting to be with you because she wants to be with somebody, then she will understand that it will be a matter of time before you can truly trust her. If she hangs around, great, if not, she isn't truly interested in you.
Good luck.

I think you did the right thing. It doesn't sound to me like she even broke up with him and was in fact treating you like a doormat.