New, question about RAD

5 year old in foster care. This is not due to abuse, but one time neglect because she left our house without us knowing. She has always been extremely loving and affectionate with her family, makes friends easily, extroverted. When she was removed, she told the social worker "I love you" and hugged her. I think she was scared and wanted to get on her good side? This wasn't normal behavior for my child with adults. She and her (same age) friends in daycare would hug each other goodbye, but other than that, which I think is harmless, but I may be mistaken, she doesn't show physical affection for non family member adults, but will talk to them easily. She apparently continued with the "I love you" with other social workers, foster mothers, a doctor, and continued with the hugs. She was appointed an attorney who says my child "obviously" has attachment disorder. My question is, since she was placed in a foster home with a 7 year old with RAD, and I've been told it's a pretty severe case (main symptom being this child does not want any affection, hugs, etc) what affect could being in this home have on my daughter? My child has stopped the "inappropriate" hugs and "I love you"s, and then last week saw the attys social worker at school. She asked her "can you take me home?" The atty stated in court that my child is still displaying "obvious signs of severe attachment disorder" by "asking my social worker to take her home" (she thought my child wanted the social worker to take her to the social worker's home). When I asked my child, she became confused and said, "No, mommy. I meant I wanted her to take me home home. Not to HER home." which, when my atty talked to my kid's atty, she admitted that the social worker said "that's what I think she meant, to take her to her own home or to foster mom's home" This is beginning to confuse me. I don't believe my child has attachment disorder (yet). I've learned in parenting class that some children are shy, some are very outgoing, and for those, showing a lot of affection is simply their nature. What I'm worried about is what affect living with a child, 24/7, with RAD, might have on my child. I'm not familiar with RAD, and am not sure what these children "do", or how they feel, or how they act. Could my child start to display some of the same symptoms as the older girl? She likes older kids, and does tend to, not exactly copy them, but want to be like them, if that makes sense. Any feedback is welcome.

Hi,

I don't have much familiarity with RAD but, as far as I'm aware, for it to be diagnosed professionally, the symptoms of it have to be present before the age of 5 years. Considering your child is 5 years of age now, it seems unlikely that she will be officially diagnosed with it.

Your post was somewhat confusing but from what I have gathered, your child is currently living with foster parents who also have a 7 years old child who has actually been diagnosed with RAD, right? If this is the case, then I don't think you have anything to worry about. Sure, your child might get on very well with the RAD child - and even start behaving like him/her in their presence - but, once on her own, I think that she will behave in her own (non-RAD way).

Kevin

Shes sounds like a pretty normal kid to me.

I don't necessarily believe that symptoms have to be present before age 5. At least not full blown RAD. Symptoms of other disorders or even just a difficult child could be RAD and vice versa. But I agree with the statement that it has to be diagnosed professionally. Just because a child says "I love you" to a social worker doesn't in itself result in a diagnosis of RAD. RAD is a result of factors that occur in the first 2 -3 years of a child's life. So with that, your daughter being with a child of RAD is not going to become RAD. But if she has RAD, she would probably be symptomatic. But even if she is RAD, I can't imagine that being the sole reason why she is in foster care. The system would have to feel that the child's safety is at risk presently, not be "punishing" you for possible abuse 4 -5 years ago.