Help Please

The longer you wait the more difficult it will be for them to find evidence.
If you are planning on going to the police, you should go tomorrow. Tonight would be even better. The police have a procedure to follow. Most general doctors would not know what tests to run or what to check for other than a standard drug test. The police would need to start an investigation and check for evidence. The longer you wait the more likely evidence will be lost. They will probably need to search the rapist's apartment to look for DNA, drugs, or other evidence.

Unless he was very careful to remove all the evidence from the crime scene- there should still be evidence there to link him to what he has done.

Do you still have the clothes you were wearing when the event occurred? They may have DNA evidence so you should not wash them.

If you plan to report this, the sooner you get in the better. Sometimes waiting as much as 6 hours more might be enough for evidence to be removed/destroyed. Say, if he decides to clean house tomorrow and you waited til Monday. The sooner you get in the better.

Also, even if there is not enough evidence to convict- it will go on his file so if he ever repeats his actions again- it will be that much easier for him to be sent to jail.

FYI I would not tell your bf you are planning on going to the police. He could give his brother the head's up to destroy any possible evidence.

The thing is about going to the police is that he and his family are all really close with them. That is why I am so scared. I have all of the clothes and they are unwashed. I just really want this to go away. I think I made a mistake by telling my boyfriend what happened last night. My boyfriend actually told me to go to the police, he said that he wants nothing to do with his brother, and he would like to see him go to jail. But, he hasn't talk to me since, and said he can't look at me the same way. This feeling is horrible. I just feel like my life is falling a part.

Distillers108
I'm so sorry that you're going through all this. I can understand your fear of going to the police, but I agree with 4horsegal's advice. Please don't be afraid to tell the police. You still have your unwashed clothes which may have evidence and the police should take your accusation seriously regardless of any connection to the family, especially if your boyfriend backs you up an they find you've been drugged.

In regards to your boyfriend, I can only imagine how you feel about his apparent lack of support. He might feel angry and ashamed about his brother's actions. He might also feel guilty that he wasn't there to protect you or never got to apologise for his previous behaviour. Give him a chance to get his head straight, but don't wait forever.
I know how you feel when you say you want all this to go away, but I'm afraid previous experience tells me that it won't go away until it's dealt with once and for all. It's a horrible position to be it. I know it's easy for me to say this, but you can get through this. You shouldn't feel that your life is falling apart or that it's your fault. Even if you feel your boyfriend isn't there for you, we're here for you! We're all thinking of you and your ordeal at this difficult time.

Distillers108 wrote:The thing is about going to the police is that he and his family are all really close with them. That is why I am so scared. I have all of the clothes and they are unwashed.

You should go to the police now, so they can collect the evidence as soon as possible. You can decide later not to press charges etc if you want but it is important for them to collect the evidence as soon as they can so that they get as much information as possible.

I'm sorry to hear about how your boyfriend reacted to you telling him, I think in the long run your decision to tell him was a good one because he would have found out at some stage. He is probably struggling with his own feelings of being betrayed by his brother, having his girlfriend be hurt, not being able to do something to help stop it, struggling with the fact that this is going to change his life in some way. It was always going to happen at some stage that he found out, it is better that it has come from you close (and close to the time it happened) because he will realize in time that that has been a sign of you trusting him. It gives the relationship hope for the future, even though he might need some therapy too to come to terms with what has happened.

I can hear you feel your life is falling apart at the moment but just try to take things step by step as they come. You need to go to the doctor so you will do that, you need to see your therapist so you will do that etc. I think you should try to go to the police as soon as you can too. Just take it a step at a time, you will be able to get through this. Perhaps you could cancel your work and study for the week too so that you are not also stressed by stresses of daily life (if you think that is something that may help you, alternatively the routine of daily life can be helpful to some people too).

I know you all are here for me, and it means so much. I just am so scared. My entire life has been ripped from me, because of this. My entire support system I am losing. Things are never going to be the same between my boyfriend and I again and it hurts so much that someone could do that to us. He told me to give him space, but all I want right now is him to hold me and tell me he loves me and everything will be okay. I'm just broken from this situation, and am scared of what is going to happen. I can't eat, and all I want to do is sleep.

Just take things a step at a time, you will be ok. If you feel like sleeping, sleep. Try to eat a little so you don't get sick. It is understandable that this is stressing you so much, you have been through a very traumatic incident. Have you told your boyfriend that you just want him to hug you and tell you everything will be ok? I think you should tell him that. He is probably confused and hurting at the moment, I think it might help if you tell him what will help you. I think it will help both of you. Can you call him now?

I know you are scared to go to the police. Please try to go. Call your sister or parents and see if they can take you.

You life isn't over. I know this is extremely upsetting but things will get better. It just takes time to heal.

*hugs*

Hi honey,
Are you okay? Have you managed to go to a doctor yet?

I'm concerned for you. How are you holding up?

4horsegal wrote:Are you okay? Have you managed to go to a doctor yet?

I'm concerned for you. How are you holding up?

I am wondering that also..... Please let us know how you are...

salted lipstick wrote:

4horsegal wrote:Are you okay? Have you managed to go to a doctor yet?

I'm concerned for you. How are you holding up?

I am wondering that also..... Please let us know how you are...

I'm concerned as well. Is everything ok? Please let us know.