trigger**Looking to re-create a rape?

peez me no go hom to dady an mom. do bad ting me an addi. he hut dolci, casto, adi, me, casey, dj. him do bad. me no wan hut. lot bad man com hut me. ali tak hom me hut gan. me no wan hut gan. peez no go hom dady an momy.
dem bad man com tak me an put bad in me. me no lik wat dey do me. peez no let go hom. peez. dem put bad ting in me. me no lik. peez me no wan go. tel me no wan go hom. peez. i no lik be hut. me no wan put bad ting in me peez.

madison

peez me no wan go hom.

Alia wrote:peez me no go hom to dady an mom. do bad ting me an addi. he hut dolci, casto, adi, me, casey, dj. him do bad. me no wan hut. lot bad man com hut me. ali tak hom me hut gan. me no wan hut gan. peez no go hom dady an momy.
dem bad man com tak me an put bad in me. me no lik wat dey do me. peez no let go hom. peez. dem put bad ting in me. me no lik. peez me no wan go. tel me no wan go hom. peez. i no lik be hut. me no wan put bad ting in me peez.

madison

peez me no wan go hom.

I know, sweetie I hope you don't go back there

Ali, whats happening? Your last post sounds like a regression. Are you remembering former abuse? I'm concerned for you here.
Feel free to Pm anytime. Your not alone.
One

i no wan be hut no mor. ali tak hom momy an dady me get hut. bad men do bad ting to me. put bad ting in me. him hut me. all bad men hut me. i no wan go hom to dady an momy peez. me no wan peez. i no wan bad men hut me. bad men hut me adi to.
peez no mak me go hom get hut by bad peepl.
hep me peez. no wan go hom to dady an momy dey hut me. peez no go hom.
hep me peez.

I'm trying, sweetie

Madison, can you try to bring Alia here? I want her to see what you wrote.

I don't understand what is happening to me. I don't understand these words. I don't remember writing these even though it says my name. I dreamed of some bad stuff. This all is very scary. I'm not sure what to do. The temple of set. That is dad.

Alia wrote:I don't understand what is happening to me. I don't understand these words. I don't remember writing these even though it says my name. I dreamed of some bad stuff. This all is very scary. I'm not sure what to do. The temple of set. That is dad.

You don't remember writing it, because it wasn't you doing it. It was Madison (the 4 year old). You don't understand the words? Like you can't make out what it says? A lot of people have trouble reading littles speak... I can "translate" it for you.

The first one says:
"please me no go home to daddy and mom. do bad things to me and Addi (that would be her twin, Addison). he hurt Dolci, Castro, Casey, DJ. him do bad. me no want hurt. lots of bad men come hurt me. if Ali take home, me hurt again. me no want hurt again. please no go home to daddy and mommy.
them bad men come take me and put bad in me. me no like what they do to me. please no let go home. please. they put bad thing in me. me no like. please me no want to go. tell [Ali] me no want to go home. please. I no like being hurt. me no want put bad thing in me please.

madison

please me no want go home."

The second says:

"I no want be hurt no more. if Ali take me home to mommy and daddy, me get hurt. bad men do bad thing to me. put bad thing in me. him hurt me. all bad men hurt me. I no want to go home to daddy and mommy please. me no want, please. I no want bad men hurt me. bad men hurt me and Adi too.
please no make me go home, get hurt by bad people.
help me please. no want to go home to daddy and mommy, they hurt me. please no go home.
help me please."



Are you sure that was a dream, and not your alters trying to show/tell you something? They can do that.

Oh, boy... I just looked up "the temple of set"

Alia wrote:
why do I fantsize about recreating the worst things that ever happened to me?

That's probably your way of trying to feel in control of the situation, and or, if you relive it to not relive it with all the emotional pain, maybe as your way of trying to cope?

Shattered_Crystals wrote:That's probably your way of trying to feel in control of the situation, and or, if you relive it to not relive it with all the emotional pain, maybe as your way of trying to cope?

I don't know what is going on shattered Crystal. I have not been doing well. there has been a bunch of it happening again. they keep hurting me. i feel like i have to make it right. do i make my father make it right? does he deserve the chance to make it right? we went there for the service and he didn't? does that mean he will never? i don't want to see things anymore because i go through everything alone it was only me in there in that closet and only me with Red Bird and E.W. If I die, I will be alone as well.
Alia

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