How do you deal with seeing your rapist on a regular basis?

When I was raped, I didn't follow through with filing charges and all that. I'm a college student, and so is my rapist, and even though he used to be my next door neighbor I've never run into him more times than I have since after the rape occurred. This past week I saw him about three out of the five days, and every time he'll stop what he's doing to look at me. I feel like his gaze cuts right through me from all the way across the room. Yesterday was really scary, we had a fire drill in my building (the new building I moved to after the rape), and my room is on the corner. I stepped out into the hallway and saw him standing in the door to the stairwell. He saw me as soon as I came out and just stood there looking at me. He was talking to someone, I didn't see who, but his eyes were on me. I stood there for a few seconds in my doorway, then hurriedly locked my door and went down the hall to the exit.

So now he knows where I live. I don't know what the hell he was doing in my building to begin with. I can't pretend it doesn't effect me every time I see him. I can't transfer to another school, though; I can't afford to go anywhere else. What can I do to make just the sight of him less intimidating?

Stuck, this is horrible. I know how frustrating it is and how much it takes out of you. You get triggered constantly. I understand that you can't move to another school. Could you have a friend stay with you or have friends with you almost all the time? It helps when you're not alone.
If you see him, tell someone who cares about you. You can post about it, PM me, or talk to a friend you know in real life. Sharing your emotions will make you feel better and you are not alone.

I'm sure this effects you greatly, and his being around unnerving. Dealing with this is a daily battle for you. Because you can't move, I would suggest trying to find a positive mindset. This is your life, your time to be happy. You need to find some sense of peace within yourself. Yes this happened, and sure, he is there, but that is in the past. While it may be difficult, try not to let him take enjoyment out of your life. He's done enough. Talking is key, talk to anyone you are comfortable with. If you feel threatened by him, tell someone, a counselor, school administration.. Just make it known. I think you are probably a stronger person for this, I admire your strength. Best of luck to you.

Why didn't you force any charges against him? You should tell the police about what happened and let them know that he's following you if this happens again. I mean, if you seem him around you again.

I don't know the laws in terms of the time after an incident you need to file charges, but I would guess you do some kind of report and even if you can't prove the rape you could almost certainly get a restraining order.

Why you haven't complained somebody about him. This is about your life. You can't live like this all the time being sacred with him. YOur whole life is their you have to be brave face him. Keep something with you to protect your self. Like a deodrant. Or just give a harsh kick to him on his----.

Buy a gun and flash it at him when noone else is around. (well don't take this advice but it's what I'd do)

I'm not sure if it's temperment but if ANYONE did what they did to you, to me, I put put many holes into them. Don't be scared. Show him who's boss, anyway you choose, you can do it.

File a report for what he did to you.
Tell someone you trust about what he did to you, so they can protect you from him, or at least attempt protecting you from him.

sweethappyprincess wrote:Why you haven't complained somebody about him. This is about your life. You can't live like this all the time being sacred with him. YOur whole life is their you have to be brave face him. Keep something with you to protect your self. Like a deodrant. Or just give a harsh kick to him on his----.

Don't suggest her kicking him for NO reason. Her kicking him for NO reason might just provoke him to rape her again, or commit some other illegal act to her.

I was forced to have sex with my coworker (off site), so I understand how terrible of a position it is to turn him in. There is a lot more to my story, but to be quick, I don't find myself being fearful of him. I see a therapist weekly and I have taken some self defense courses so that if he ever comes near me or backs me into a corner, I will be strong and know how to react. Do not let this get the better of you. I know when I was in college I could request a room change... maybe that's a possibility. Otherwise I would say carry pepper spray with you and keep a friend around. Good luck!