Treatment for PSTD, sexual assault

Several years ago I was sexually assaulted repeatedly by a couple that used mind games on me... "We made you feel good... we did things for you... don't you want to make us feel good in return?" I'd be happy to talk more in depth about what happened if you want. But what I want to share is the therapy that I finally found that saved my life. It sounded like hocus pocus at the time.. I held NO hope of its actually working but I was already in the office, already paying for the hour visit so I gave it a shot. Two sessions later I could actually control when I thought about what had happened to me... It doesn't erase the memories but they won't accost you in the middle of the day, in the middle of work, you won't suddenly feel them in your hands, hear their voices... It only comes up when you try to tell someone about it or try and think about it (which of course isn't often! Who wants to relive those moments for no reason?)

I had been seeing a horrible counselor. The last straw with her was her telling me I was going to hell for having sexual relations with a woman. I immediately sought out someone else, and found a Christian counselor. She said she'd be happy to work with me, but first wanted me to try a someone who specialized in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (which this really is a form of). If it didn't work, she'd meet with me. I went to him. He explained what he did and I thought it a bunch of phooey. It sounded ridiculous. But I was already there, paying for an hour session and I was DESPERATE for help so I gave it a shot. Figured it couldn't hurt. It was one of the best things I have ever done in my life and I highly suggest it to you if you've been hurt.

The therapy is called EMDR therapy... Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. There are a couple of ways it can be done... some do it by having your eyes follow a laser on a screen as you visualize what happened to you... but you have to keep your eyes open for that and I found it hard to visualize with my eyes open. The other way is to sit with your hands on your knees, palms down, and visualize, while the therapist taps the back of your hands... one then the other. They'll stop every few minutes, check on you largely because you stop breathing, you get so deeply into it. It took me two sessions and I went from a total mess to having total control. I never thought it would work but it did. I know it sounds nuts but give it a chance. Find someone who specializes in this. It's worth it!

Someone in the Body Dysmorphic Disorder forum has been trying EMDR too. It's interesting to know how well it can work for some people. I hope you stick around the forums, freed_dragonfly. Keep posting.