I need advice x

I really need to let out my feeling , about my abuse. I was abused by my older brother for 4 years when i was 8 till 12 , I used to live at home but i started going of the rails and getting into trouble so i got put in care. I told my social worker about a year ago about my abuse and since then i cant cope , my mum dosent belive it has happened and she said that he will never get a job and verything and it will be all my fault if i do a statement agasint him ,i just don't know how to cope , i feel alone , no one belives me and now i have resulted to drinks , drugs and running away , often spend time with older men now as they get me my drugs and achool ,but it ends in them abusing me. I want to get out of the cycle i am in. I just get thoughts about killing myself and i cant even imagine living till im 18. Ive tried talking to my carrers but it dosent help , i just think they are juding me and i get upset every time , please give me adivce on what to do ,as i dont want to end up being shoved into a secure unit for my own protection.

broken&empty wrote:I really need to let out my feeling , about my abuse. I was abused by my older brother for 4 years when i was 8 till 12 , I used to live at home but i started going of the rails and getting into trouble so i got put in care. I told my social worker about a year ago about my abuse and since then i cant cope , my mum dosent belive it has happened and she said that he will never get a job and verything and it will be all my fault if i do a statement agasint him ,i just don't know how to cope , i feel alone , no one belives me and now i have resulted to drinks , drugs and running away , often spend time with older men now as they get me my drugs and achool ,but it ends in them abusing me. I want to get out of the cycle i am in. I just get thoughts about killing myself and i cant even imagine living till im 18. Ive tried talking to my carrers but it dosent help , i just think they are juding me and i get upset every time , please give me adivce on what to do ,as i dont want to end up being shoved into a secure unit for my own protection.

Hi broken&empty, it sounds like you are going through a pretty rough time.
I am glad you have dared to speak about your brother´s abuse. You have done the right thing.
Maybe your brother needs help, but it will not be your fault if he has problems in the future, that will be his own responsability.
Your mom does not believe you, that sucks!! many times women have accepted abuse and kept it in silence...so when one dares to speak up, they can not understand it, they feel threatened...
in this story you are the brave one!! you are the heroe, even though you feel so alone and judged.

You are still so young, and have already gone through so much!!! Just the fact that you have written this message means that there is hope!! It means that you see that you are hurting yourself with the choices you are making.
you have been abandoned by your brother and your mother. Do not abandon yourself!!
somehow really difficult experiences in life, can make us stronger...so strong that we, as we get older are able to help or listen to others that are going through difficult times too.

I am sure that if you ask for help, you will receive it. Avoid those men, alcohol and drugs, all of these is nurturing that sense of unworthiness within you and you do not need it.
you are a great and amazing person!!! you have been able to go through horrible times and still stand up to speak up for yourself. I am definitely on your side.
take good care of yourself, you are taking the right steps and i will keep you in my prayers.

I am sorry this happened to you. I was sexually and physically abused as a child and I know how hard it is to speak about it. It took me over 30 years to talk about it. You are being much stronger than I was.

My mother knew about the physical abuse and I think she knew about the sexual stuff too. It was just easier for her to pretend it wasn't happening, than to deal it.

You are being amazingly strong. Don't give up on yourself!

My brother molested me around those ages also. It wasn't until he raped a 13 year old friend of mine when he was 22 that my parents thought of using the legal system on him. Still, years later I have been guilted on how he can't get a job because he is a registered sex offender.

I just want you to know that you aren't alone--even though it feels it. Others of us have been in situations similar to yours. Don't give up on yourself.