I was raped...

I was raped. Easy words to type, but not so easy to say. I'm in the military and my rapist is also active duty.
After he raped me, I did nothing. I stayed in my room all the next day and night. I went to work on Monday, like normal. But monday night I broke down and knew that I had to say something. So I called the security office and told them I had to report a rape.
Here's what happened:
I was raped by someone I knew. He came to my room to "talk" that night. I had been drinking before he came and I was kind of tipsy. When I opened the door he walked into the room and he had a bottle of alcohol in his hand. He tried to kiss me, but I pushed him away and told him "NO, I'm not going to have sex with you tonight, if thats what you thought" SO he said OK. and walked into my bed room. I had a bad feeling about it, so I grabbed my laundry basket and told him I had to grab my clothes out of the laundry room (which I did). When I left the room, I called one of my friends who I was talking to when the rapist arrived and I told him that the guy was in my room and I didn't feel comfortable but I couldn't call the base police to get him out of my room becuase i have been drinking and I was underage.
So I went back in my room, set my clothes down, and as I stood up adn turned to face him, he picked me up in a bear hug and put me on the bed. He tried to get me to touch him, but I pulled away and told him "No, I don't want to have sex with you." So he put his hands down my pajama pants, and underware and he penetrated me with his fingers saying "But you're wet. You want it" I pushed his hand away. Then he tried to pull my pants off a few times, but the first 2 tries I grabbed them and pulled them back up. After the 2nd attempt, I was trying to tie my pants on tight so he couldn't pull them off. I think this is when he pulled his pants off. I am not sure though. I was already kind of drunk and I wasn't thinking clearly, I was so dead set on getting my pants tied tight. He just reached up and yanked them and my underware off.
He pushed my legs up so that they were against my chest and he started to rape me. I kept telling him NO, STOP, I DON"T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, and I was trying to push him away from me. After a few minutes he asked me if I wanted him to stop and i said YES. SO he did, and he let my legs down, but he never pulled out. AS soon as my legs hit the bed an we were in the missonary position, he started raping me again. When he started again I was trying to push him away, and I was trying to skootch away from him.
At one point I ended up pushing myself into a semi-sitting position with him still ontop of me. When I did that he tried to push me back down on the bed, but i ended up hitting my head on the wood headboard. That hurt. He then pulled me up onto his lap so that I was sitting on it, and he laid back on the bed so that I was then ontop. He was holding onto me tighty and trying to move me around telling me "But you like it on top". I was still telling him no stop. He asked me a few more times if I wanted him to stop and I would say yes, but he wouldn't stop.
After a few minutes like that my phone rang. The rapist told me not to answer, but I told him that if I didn't my friend would call the base police. I answered and after telling the rapist he had to leave a few times my phone lost signal. I told the rapist that my friend would be calling the base police because he didn't leave and because my friend and I had been cut off on the phone. The rapist grabbed all his stuff and took off.
The next day, he texted me and asked if I was angry with him. At first I just said "After what you did, what do you think" then he called and left a message that said that he had no Idea what i was tlaking about. I texted him saying "YOU RAPED ME!"
This happened on a saturday night. I went in to the base police on late monday night. I had a rape kit done and statement taken on tuesday.
Later tuesday afternoon, the NCIS had me call the rapist to try and get him to confess to me about the rape. After talking with him for 45 mins, and telling him that I still wanted to be friends, but I just needed him to admit that he forced himself on me and that he had heard me saying NO, and STOP. He did that. Shortly after that conversation ended he was arrested. When he was arrested, he confessed to my rape, and the rape of another woman.
The most recent event was an Article 32 hearing (which is the military's rendition of a Grand Jury, except in an Article 32, the accused gets to be present) During this, I found out that he had not only raped me, but supposedly raped 2 other women. None of us have ever meet before (the survivors).
The worst part of the Article 32 wasn't retelling what he did to me. The worst part was having to face him again. I happened to be sitting in the conference room across the hall from the male bathroom while i was waiting to be called to testify. I looked out the door and I saw him. He was on his way into the bathroom. He stopped at the door, turned and stared at me. That was sooo hard, and hurt so much. Thankfully when I went in to testify, i knew where he'd be sitting so i didn't look over there at all.
Now we are waiting to see what kind fo court martial they are going to hold for him (if any).

you have been through alot, and I'm proud of you for going forward and telling them what he did to you. It took alot of courage.

I was also raped, I've wrote it on here I believe but it would likely be far back in the pages. Anyways it wasn't a violent rape, I told him that I didn't want to, or I said you know I don't want to... he threatened to rape me that day, saying he would rape me if he wanted, and that wasn't thefirst time that threat occured, it happened a few times before... he was also my boyfriend at the time and was abusive.


I was in denial about it for a good 2 yrs before I was convinced finally that yes it did occur. I developed PTSD from that relationshpi and since then had been in many situations where I was either sexually assaulted or harrassed... Those all happened in the yrs of 1996-2001... the last ime anything happened was with this guy who threatened rape, nothing happened, but i'm sure he'd have been capable of it that night.


Have you ever received any therapy at all, anything to help you deal with this?

I'm sorry all that happened to you.

i did go get counseling, although for the most part I am handling it well. It helps that he admited to me on the phone that he raped me, and that he confessed to the rape. Now I realize that his attorney's may say that the confessions were coerced, but it helps to know that he realizes what he did was wrong, instead of just denying it.

It also helps that my chain of command (the ones in it that know what happened) support me and are behind me. they are making sure that i get the help i need, when i need it.

I have been doing pretty good. I accepted it right after it happened, but i didn't want to say it. Once I finally said it, I FELT AWESOME! He tried to take the power away from me, but I TOOK IT BACK!

I had that power taken away from me for 8 yrs, I also got it back and now am in a fantastic, healthy relationshp...

My ex never admited to it, even though I think he knew that he was guilty of something because out of the blue online he'll ask me why I'm going around telling people that he abused me....

This should not be done!

I am glad you were able to do what you did!

I had a male to male assault!

Your's almost mirrored my own...in sort of ways?

Now, the most important part is YOU!

I still can't get over it and I have very few male friends. This was over 20 years ago?

You have given yourself to honor your country and this should not have happened!

A soul, no matter what sex, is equal to your own!
A person should understand this!

Just because your in the military, doesn't mean you are weaker?

YOU are soldier or a military person...which means you have function for our country! Citizens depend on you. This thing should never happen!

Unfortunately, we are in the real world!

IF I could change it...I definitey would!

I do admire the courage I see?

So, there are a whole bunchof people on line! We're here!

Phil

sadgrl i wondered i just posted something, an angry post that doesnt make sense really. i was raped it wasn't a violent one but i don't feel i have the right to greive the same as the others like this poor lady who were victim of a violent attack and i have been beating myself up bout this. i feel so guilty it was my fault anyway before we started drinking he said to me would you ###$ me tonight i said only if i got really drunk so he kept feeding me drink i still said no but i couldnt fight him it was all too sureal i didn't believe what was going on. so its my problem i could of stopped it but i couldnt i froze up i guess and that makes me a fool

Rape doesn't have to be violent, mine wasn't violent even though my relationship with this person was an abusive one, and he threatened rape a few times throughout our relationship...

However if you say I don't want to, No, anything like that and he continues it is rape. I freeze too it's the fight or flight response, if you can't fight (too much drinking) and you cannot get away, which you couldn't then it's the freeze.. and that's what happened to you...

He took advantage of you, and he shouldn't have....

To me.. I also was in a situation like yours.. But I got left alone in the middle of no where passed out.. he was a friend of mine.. which went into serivce.. But unlike you I was to afraid of what he might do if i turned him in.. Also. .I thought if I did turn him in.. It wouldnt matter becus they stationed him in another state.. I was so scared after that and I didnt care much about myself..

Reading your story made me feel so much better.. Knowing that You had the Umph to follow through with the charges.. I wish to this day I had done what you did.. Maybe I was terriffied becus i was so young? Who knows.. But im Very Proud of you.

Very sorry about that.

I try to keep this a secret most of the time, but I was some what raped and I was only 13. BTW, I'm 18 right now.
I got pissed drunk at my "so-called" friends house. It was night time. I passed out. When I woke up I was on the couch and I asked where I was. And one of the people there was "that guy had sex whith you," I whent asked the guy that raped me if he really did that, and he kept walking away from me being quiet whith a red face and then whent into his room and locked his door. Then I walked home in the night. Then I passed out on the couch in my house. That's all I can remeber. Almost like a nightmare that came to life.I mean, I was only 13!! I liked playing cards and hanging out whith my friends, I was never into sex and stuff related to it. But I have been always impulsive when it came to drugs and acahole. I wasn't into that stuff either, I was just impulsive and young. I guess I wanted to be "cool" like others. Or fit in the group. But who knows, what he said could of never happend, just a perverted joke, but I think that it happend.
Every time I passed their house I got this nasty feeling in my stomatch. I should of said some thing, but I held in my tears and just lived on whith it. I didn't have much proof and plus, I was drinking, and under age, I would get in trouble as well.
I will never tell it to my parents. But I like sharing my stories and getting things off my chest to people that won't spread it.

In case you all care, this guy is going to a General Court Martial (which is reserved for serious crimes) Technically he faces 25yrs for each count of rape (3 counts=75years) However, because it's a general court martial, he actually faces anything from being found not guilty (fat chance) to life imprisonment or death (again, although he is up for that, he won't get it cause the offenses aren't serious enough.)
However if he is convicted he will face time in the Brig (military prison) as well as dishonorable discharge and hard labor, and all that good stuff...