need advise was i raped?

ok well i been thinking long and hard about this and was hoping someone could help me out, was this rape?
at the start of this year a friend's husband started showing me a intrest, a bit of flirting etc which was nice, at the time i was married (in a miserable marriage which has now ended) and enjoyed the attention, i was attracted to this guy and he knew that but he knew i was not intrested as such becasue we were both married however after some flirting he started touching my boobs etc... and went on and on at me when his wife and my husband were not about to touch him, i kept saying no no no no but he pushed me into doing it and at the time i was weak and gave in to it altho i didn't want too but i did enjoy the attention anyway it went on for a while and my hubby (at the time) and his wife who was a close friend went out to do something (i know they wern't up to anything they shouldn't)and while they were out i went upstairs to the toilet and he followed me and tried to open the toilet door, i put my foot in the way so he couldn't come in, then when i came out and washed my hands he kept touching me etc... (never kissing) and i kept trying to get away and saying no becaue we were both married and i wouldn't do that to my friend he went on and on at me and in the end i let him do it, i layed there not looking at him untill he finnished then cleaned myself up and i went back downstairs and never told anyone untill 2 nights ago when i told my bestest friend (not his wife) and i cant remember but i think he did it the next day but things were very stressfull for me then and every time he knew i was in my home alone he'd 'take the dogs out' and come to my house and harrass me for ********/ try to lick me out/ cop a feel etc...., he even convinsed me to take the dogs out with him and fingered me behind our house even tho each time i kept saying NO but i just let him do it anyway so i am rather confused, i feel dirty, sick to the stomach at the thought of it and like a object

Hi,

You said no clearly and repeatedly so I would say this is both rape and sexual assault when he has done things to you. Have you considered reporting him. The other thing to consider if the sex was unprotected is STIs and pregnancy. Finally it would be worth you looking into some specialised counselling for this as I think it would help you process it.

Keep posting

Cracked

i thought so, my friend said that and i wasn't sure i guess i couldnt believe it but i knew if you know what i mean, i have been checked for a sti and luckily didnt have one and luckkily was not pregnant as he didnt use a condom and at the time i didnt have any birth control. I do think i need someone to talk too but i am petrified what the outcome will be and if anyone will listen to me thanks for the advise tho xxxxxx

how do you get over things like this? i have been raped and molestered 6 times in my life i have never taken time to deal with the abuse and dont remember some of it, i'm too scared of telling people and talking to someone cas of the emotions i have

I am so sorry about your experiences. I was abused for 5 years as a kid and then again when slightly older, plus raped twice as an adult and I know it can feel overwhelming to try and get over it. But you can by chipping away at it bit by bit. Book an appt with a speacialist counsellor or a therapist and just start somewhere, anywhere you want to and work from there. It may take some time but you can get there. I am not there yet but I am a long way further along the road than I was when I started.

Thinking of you

Cracked