Is this some sort of rape?

Does your brother know what he did? I can understand if you wouldn't want to tell him.

No he doesn't know. i didnt want to tell him. i mean, for the most part my ex was ok and when we broke up he was pretty nice for awhile. i feel wrong talking bad about him.
and im afraid if i told my bro or family, then my ex would tell some of the stuff to them that i've told him. like, when i was little my brother tried to have sex with me- now this was something my family knew about but we never discussed except for once etc and my brother and i got over it i guess. it left me with some serious trust issues but i never talked to anyone about it, and i was always alittle uncomforable with my bro. and i had told my ex about it. but my bro has been through a lot lately, he has brain damage now, and i dont want my ex to tell him how much that had affected me, i dont want my bro to have to deal with that.

(((((((winterrose))))))) I'm sorry you went through that with your brother. Maybe you could try to tell him and keep it between the two of you and even tell him that your ex would try to use what happened when you were kids against you and your family. It must be hard to keep all this bottled up inside of you.
If you think your brother would take it so hard or you wouldn't be comfortable talking to him about it, you can just avoid them, I guess. These situations are never easy to deal with.
Don't ever feel bad about feeling the way you do about your ex. People like him are very good at manipulating others and hurting them.
Why else would you be afraid that he'd say something to your brother or your family. A decent person would never do what he did to you and they'd never tell your family about what you told him.

I dont think he has told my brother anything yet. and hopefully as long as i dont say anything he wont.
im really glad my brother has such a good friend. and he was pretty nice for a bit during the break up. so its hard to dislike him so much, although at the same time it is very easy to. he had known about the stuff with my brother so i thought when it came to sex he would be ok. and he was for alittle bit. i use to spend a lot of time at my brohters, his friends were my friends. but now i dont.
I know this sounds really bad- but sometimes i wish i would go over there and have something kinda happen- not fully, just some kind of confrontation so that then my brother could see what he is really like.
i feel like since i was drunk, and wasn't screaming no, that it isnt that big of a deal, and i think thats how other ppl would feel to. like it was my fault to.

i feel like since i was drunk, and wasn't screaming no, that it isnt that big of a deal, and i think thats how other ppl would feel to. like it was my fault to.

Winterrose, you didn't give consent, it wasn't your fault not in the least.
I never screamed. I didn't fight back, I wasn't drunk either, and I was still raped.


Sadly there are a lot of people who will not see it as rape, and there are those that do blame the victim, it's something that really bothers me.


He had no right to do what he did because you were under the influence.

What if he was drunk the first time? i dont know how drunk he was. He had been drinking. but then i was passed out and i dont know how drunk he was. if he was drunk then he didnt know what he was doing right? but he may not have been that drunk. when i finally talke dto him about it later, he said i would act like i wanted it, and then i would freak out and act like i didnt want it. first, he tried to say it didnt happen at all. i wonder if maybe he had finally stopped since i dont totally remember, but i dont remember. but there was a condem on the ground.
and the second time he was totally sober. completely.

Drunk people still know what they're doing, winterrose. I mean if you kill someone when you're drunk no one thinks it's the victim's fault or that the killer is somehow less responsible, they'd probably blame or hate the killer even more.
He definitly knows he did something wrong if he tried to make you think that it didn't happen. This isn't your fault. Many people have stupid ideas and they might blame you or say that it's not a big deal but they're wrong.

winterrose wrote:What if he was drunk the first time? i dont know how drunk he was. He had been drinking. but then i was passed out and i dont know how drunk he was. if he was drunk then he didnt know what he was doing right? but he may not have been that drunk. when i finally talke dto him about it later, he said i would act like i wanted it, and then i would freak out and act like i didnt want it. first, he tried to say it didnt happen at all. i wonder if maybe he had finally stopped since i dont totally remember, but i dont remember. but there was a condem on the ground.
and the second time he was totally sober. completely.

It doesn't matter hun, what he did was wrong regardless.
He knew what he did was wrong... he knew what he did to you... he told you how you seem to have acted.
No one wants to be assaulted it doesn't matter whether booze was involved or not hon.