Thank you.

For some reason my account was deleted or something. All my posts are gone and it won't let me log in, I don't think I did anything wrong? Anyways I just created this because I wanted to thank everyone that's tried to help me, but I'm a lost cause. Too much has happened and I'm not strong enough, tonight just set it off. I never will be able to get over the rape. I look at all these people who are still affected by it as much as 30 years later. This will go on my entire life. I can't take it and burden other people with my problems anymore. I put myself in the situation now I need to deal with it, I'm surprised it didn't happen before now. Just thank you to everyone who was nice enough to listen to my pathetic complaining and give me advice. This is me giving up. I don't know what to do with myself.

I think your account may have been deleted due to the database errors that have been happening lately. If it was because of something you did, you would have been told why. Don't leave the site because of this.

While it's true that many people deal with this for a long time, it's also true that many people do heal and lead a happy life. I forget where I saw it, but someone had in their signature -- "The elevator's broken. You'll have to take the stairs". It might take a while to climb one step at a time, but eventually you'll get where you're going.

I don't think anyone feels burdened by you. Nor does anyone think you're a "lost cause". But if you truly want to be one, then leaving the site would be the first step. Talk to the admin first.

(((((((((((soundsofsilence))))))))))) Please don't give up! I remember what you posted about and what happened to you. You have to talk about it and be with others who understand. The thing with your account muse have been an accident. You can create another topic.
Of course you're strong enough to fight this.

Oh no.. sorry that happened, I'll look into it, when we had issues with the site before something may have happened, I'll ask the admin.

oooopps! Dont worry, you are here now.

You are a presence on the board.

Sorry, the big issue wasn't my account not working, I didn't mean to make it sound like that. I was really tired last night and took a lot of pills. I don't know whether I was taking them to try to end it or just go sleep without being restless for once, I don't really know myself. I just feel like I'm getting worse and I'm just burdening everyone who has had much worse things happen to them. I've been throwing up all day and even though my work called me to come in and I really need the money I said no. I just feel exhausted and sick all the time and feel like people are wasting their time on me. Yet then I selfishly come back looking for help or answers like I will somehow magically get better. Last night was the first time in years I've ever actually gotten really close to ending my life. I've cut recently and in the past, but never the spots that I know will do the most damage, that wouldn't be the way I would go because I'm not strong enough. I just feel like I should be getting better, not worse.

Sounds,

We didn't manually delete anyone's account in the past few weeks so this must have been as a result of the database issues we've had recently. I'm very sorry about the problem and I'll ask if we can restore the account somehow but when this has happened in the past that has been impossible.

Again, I'm very sorry this happened to you.

No, no, it's fine. It's pretty fast just to make a new account, I just didn't know if I broke any rules I was unaware of. You don't have to spend the time to try to get my account back, I could care less, but thank you for the thought.

((((((((((soundsofsilence)))))))))) You will feel better at one point. This is because of what you went through and you don't deserve to die.

I'm pregnant.