How Do You Make It Go Away?

I was sexually assaulted when i was 5 and I had no idea how much it screwed up my life. I hate people. I hate socialising. I hate relationships/friends/family. I hate intimacy/flirting/human contact. And since I know the doctor can't give me a cure I keep swallowing painkillers until i get tired and fall asleep.....its the same process over and over again whenever i think about what happened and since I pushed away all the counsellors I've began to fragment and I'm pretty sure I'm going to reach my breaking point soon.

How do I forgot the face of a sick pervert who will always have a place in your memory no matter how much you try to destroy yourself in order to be at peace?

Hi, sleepyxwillow! You may never forget, but you can become stronger and get past it. You can feel in control and at peace and have a life. I know how horrible it is when you feel triggered and talking about it can feel like the last thing in the world that you'd want to do, but I think you need to talk to get better.
You could try to look for a good counsellor, who you feel comfortable with and who wants to help. It doesn't have to happen right away.
It's ok to not want to be around other people that much.

sleepyxwillow wrote:I was sexually assaulted when i was 5 and I had no idea how much it screwed up my life. I hate people. I hate socialising. I hate relationships/friends/family. I hate intimacy/flirting/human contact. And since I know the doctor can't give me a cure I keep swallowing painkillers until i get tired and fall asleep.....its the same process over and over again whenever i think about what happened and since I pushed away all the counsellors I've began to fragment and I'm pretty sure I'm going to reach my breaking point soon.

How do I forgot the face of a sick pervert who will always have a place in your memory no matter how much you try to destroy yourself in order to be at peace?

You can't make it go away, well you can, but you will never forget what he did to you. Gave you gotten into any therapy since the attack? If not it's a good time to find someone to talk to. What you feel is normal even though you are having a hard time.
I dealt with rape, numerous sexual assaults/sexual harrassments and I dealt with abuse. Talking to someone was the hardest thing I could do, but it was also the best thing I could have done... I'm actually talking about it again now.

If you need to talk feel free to message me.

sleepyxwillow wrote:I was sexually assaulted when i was 5 and I had no idea how much it screwed up my life. I hate people. I hate socialising. I hate relationships/friends/family. I hate intimacy/flirting/human contact. And since I know the doctor can't give me a cure I keep swallowing painkillers until i get tired and fall asleep.....its the same process over and over again whenever i think about what happened and since I pushed away all the counsellors I've began to fragment and I'm pretty sure I'm going to reach my breaking point soon.

How do I forgot the face of a sick pervert who will always have a place in your memory no matter how much you try to destroy yourself in order to be at peace?

I'm soooo sorry it happened to you..especially at such a young age . I was sexually assaulted as an adult..but think its much much much much much worse if it happens when you're a child.
I think those who sexually violate children should be castrated, centimeter by centimeter--Lorena Bobbit wouldnt be enough to give those who violate children what they deserve
Have you sought therapy? I cant afford therapy anymore..so I basically just delve into self help books...self hypnosis does me wonders..
Despite the fact that I feel ashamed for the sexual assault...I still dont understand why I, the victim, feel ashamed for someone elses animalistic, inhumane actions. Not all people suck...there are some saintly people out there...that really truly care about other human beings and would help in anyway they could
Please remember..that it wasnt You who did the animalistic act..it was a beast who's probably a sociopath and really doesnt care about people. Dont let the monster get the best of u..be logical about it..it is HIM that should be self destructing and popping pills to lose consciousness.
Good luck on your journey