I didn't think this would happen...

I went out with a girl last night, who I don't know very well. We drank a lot, and she had a guy friend with her, and at some point we all went back to her motel room.

We sat around talking, etc, and I saw she had this liquid. I asked her what it was, can't remember what she replied but she put half a dose in a glass with some coke, and told me to drink it quickly cos it tastes bad. I'm pretty sure it was G, which is a drug. I was so stupid, but I took it, cos I didn't feel I was unsafe.

Then she wanted to track down some weed, and she left to get some. All I remember is feeling really sleepy, and lying down on her bed. I remember he lay down next to me. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up, he was groping me over my clothes, and I froze. I was scared and didn't know what to do. He started touching me in my private parts, and had his hand down there. After a while I freaked out, and remember getting up and going 'what the hell are you doing!', he then said I took his pants off, which is not true, and asked if he could give me a ride home, but I just ran out.

I called my boyfriend, and cried all the way home. He is suporting me all the way, and is really angry. I don't remember this guys name, and don't have her number. I know where she works, and I left a msg there for her to call me. I want to find out this guys number, and confront him. He needs to know what he did was wrong right?

I feel depressed, and dirty, and guilty. When does it get better?

This sounds so horrible. I hate it when people take advantage of an innocent. If you want to report it you can. Sexual harassment isn't tolerated these days but I don't know how far it would go since the only other witness gave you the drug. I know what they did was horrible but I think you ccan put it behind you and not try to convince them. In my opinion, she was familiar with the drug, waited until you passed out, and left you alone with a guy. I don't think either of them had intended good for you. To be frank, I think that a verbal altercation with them would fall on deaf and ignorant ears. You made it out alive, in one piece, just please don't let it happen again for your own sake.

I think you should keep sharing your feelings about it to us so you can heal, if you want.

Hi, Chaos_theory! I'm sorry this happened to you. That guy had no right to do that. A person who is asleep or who has been drugged can't give their consent.
It is not your fault, all you did was hang out with two people who you thought were your friends. Your female "friend" shouldn't have left you alone with him and she shouldn't have given you that to drink. You don't have to confront him if you don't really want to.

Thanks so much for your replies. I've just been on the phone to a councellor, and it was good to get it out. I was feeling really emotional and panicky before. Had a bit of a cry.

I think I'm under a lot of stress at the moment. This led me to drink too much, trust too easily, and led to what happened. Although it wasn't my fault, I want to avoid a situation like that again.

In short, my partner has cancer, and for the last 8 months I've been trying to be there for him. He's fantastic, but I neglected myself. Stress and alcohol aren't a good mix.

I think after having a think about it, I too agree that she was a bad friend to leave me alone. I know I wouldn't do that to even a stranger! I also think that talking to him would fall on deaf ears. But if she calls I may ask what she was thinking leaving me alone like that.

Thanks so much for your words, they do help.

Hi Chaos_theory:

as a guy who has gone though the "loved-ones" side of a recent event, I'm hoping I am about to choose my words carefully and constructively - NOTHING I SAY is a reflection on you, believe me.

But a very close friend, because I was away and she was lonely, wound up in a similar situation, and it went right side-ways, about as bad as it could get, with her still being alive Thank God. I am still trying to deal with my own guilt fot "not having been there to look after her".

The only thing I could advise - because I don't feel I have any place to delve into the private parts - is that try to be careful that you don't allow a momentary impulsive mood to put yourself in any potentially risky situations. Take care of yourself first.

Now listen - I have NO idea if that applies to you, it's NOT a "character-judgement."




It's simply facing the fact that there ARE people out there that have no heart, no class, no ethics AT ALL - it's all about THEM!

Tragically, they will find a victim, sooner or later - what you need to do is make sure that from now on, it's not you.




There are a ton of wonderful, caring men out there - but sometimes it takes a while to find them.... don't give up, okay?
FYI, my friend told me she has waited for nearly 20 years, until we met.... and now she knows who "her one-and-only" is

THAT is a gut-grabber, believe me.... I miss her so bad. So, so bad.





btw - the "confrontation" aspect is something I dont feel I have either the expertise or experience to advise you about, so I will leave that to someone else with a greater undertanding....

I understand what you're saying. Sometimes the intentions of other people aren't as good as you assume. I should have been more suspicious, and less trusting.

I am lucky it wasn't worse, and I got out of there when I did.

I'm lucky to have a great boyfriend, and I feel for him. This can't be easy for him either. I know he wanted to punch the guy if only we knew who he was.

I want this to impact me as little as possible.

It's not my fault.

I'll be fine in time.

Chaos_theory wrote:I understand what you're saying. I'm lucky to have a great boyfriend, and I feel for him. This can't be easy for him either. I know he wanted to punch the guy if only we knew who he was.

I want this to impact me as little as possible.

It's not my fault.

I'll be fine in time.

Sounds like you got a good guy there - wortha try anyway. Good for him! It's been pretty damn difficult for me as well as her, to face somethin that I always thought I could cope with...... and then it shows up in your OWN life, not something on TV.
There is still a guy that I want to find, in another city - the only thin g holding me back is that I'm not sure I have enough years left in me to Do The Time, and still be able to give "her" well-deserved comfort for a while. And it IS well-deserved. Therefore it is my first priority.

As I have PLEADED to my friend.... find someone, anyone, to unload this stuff to - in any fashion that works for you, not them. None of the modern-day "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" $#%^...... uh-uh! - go somewhere else, if you don't find the resolution that you needd. Trust me, "bin dere - dun dat, got the shirt."



I can tell you from around 50 years of experience, "It don't GO away, it just gets packed away!" That is the truth - take it from someone who had a couple memories he would like to get rid of from HIS childhood, too.... plus you always wonder what you DON'T remember, too.

Get rid of it - but do it in a slow, careful, constructive and positive way - and I can warranty you that it is not hidden at the bottom of a bottle somewhere.

That does NOT WORK...... take that to the bank, okay?



Love - TRUE love - is what works It's only beginning to occur in my life, after all these miserable years.
Hang in there. There are far more folks in your corner tha you may realize, some of who inhabit this forum - as I only beginning to get.

"An' Das a'Fack - Jack!"



I'n a little drunk, excusde i did anythin wrongd, not intention at all.

In case there's a few folks that dont get the "Dacsa Fac, Jack" thing - yes it's a spoof, butif I got ONE person on this forum to and yet be proud of America - their "Canadian-crap" that I have endure elsehere will be wotrh it all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mfxcq77F ... re=related

Yes, you will be fine with time, but it's ok if it affects you. You are human. It's good that you were able to talk to a counsellor.
It's not your fault there are bad people out there. You can still be there for your boyfriend just like he is there for you.

I also went through a "double team" like this not too recently. It was more a game of deception than anything and I let my feelings and mind get "played." Not anymore.