I just need to write it down.

I dated my ex boyfriend for 3 years. We broke up about the end of September '06. In October '06 I saw him in the bar, there was a halloween party going on and we talked as friends and everything seemed fine. We both ended up gettin drunk. So he asked if him and his male friend could stay at my sisters house, which is where I was staying, because it was in walking distance from the bar. My sister was fine with it, we had all known each other a long time.
I went to sleep and my ex and his friend were supose to crash on the living room couches.
I fell asleep quickly and woke up when i felt someone on top of me. My ex had come into the room i was sleeping in and pulled off my pajamma pants and was on top of me. I was drunk and didnt really relize what he was doing for a few seconds. When I did he stopped and was nervous that I would call the cops. I think I was in shock. I just told him to get out.
I dont know if this is rape. We were dating for a long time, and we were both drinking. I never had a chance to say no, but if I was awake I would have. I dont know if he thought it was ok because we were together before.....
It has been bothering me alot lately because I started dating again and would wake up at night whenever my boyfriend would get to close to me, because I would thnk it was my ex. My new boyfriend is really good about it, but I feel bad that I am acting this way. I just had to get this out, and write it down...

Hi, countrychickny! Of course it was rape. If you couldn't give consent for what he was doing it is rape. It doesn't matter that you had been together or that you knew him for a long time. It doesn't matter that you both had been drinking either. He's responsible for what he did.
Your new boyfriend understands and cares about you.
I hope you will feel better and please know that we'll give you our support.

Hey countrychickny, sounds like date rape to me. He took advantage of you when you were drunk and passed out......on top of the fact that he is your ex. I'm glad your boyfriend is understanding.

It was rape sweetie.
I'm sorry it happened to you!
He knew you couldn't consent and took advantage.
What he did was wrong.

If you are unable to consent it's rape.
Even if you consented, and then later said no or stop it is rape.
Not everyone says no, etc when it's happening.
If you didn't want it it is rape too.

If you need to talk please pm me.
I work with survivors daily ....
(not professionally however)

So... me and the new boyfriend broke up today. Turns out hes an ass. Hes threatening to tell my friends and family about my ex. Life sucks...

Sorry that life is difficult right now. Your boyfriend isn't being very nice at all. Why is he threatening to tell your friends and family about your ex? If your done with him he should just leave you alone.

He knows thats the one thing that will hurt me most...

I'm sorry to hear how much of an asswhole this guy turned out to be. Try to keep away from him as much as you can.

I give up.

Oh, no, countrychickny! Why would he want to tell them if you don't want him to? You can find someone better and you still have yourself and this place.