going through hell for you

I have not suffered the worst thing possible...being raped. However, I am highly intelligent but also, very attractive and socially graceful...yet eccentric and extremely unique. I managed to find a girl eight years ago who connected with me in a way where every other connection in my life has paled in comparison. She was a victim of incestual paedophilia...not immediate family and she immigrated to where I am living and where we met, away from that family member.

We dated for two years on and off and it was a struggle because she was determined to abuse men and somehow have them go off monstrous and insensitive so that she could feel responsible for what happened to her and the guilt would have a root from a seed she herself planted.

These are things I realize now. When I had her, I was very much a boy...not introspective or self-aware. Losing her sparked my awakening. Since then i have been reeling in the loss.

In some kind of body snatchers nightmare I have found everyone around me to be completely insensitive..not to my loss...but to rape and it being one of the most common things in life!! I am a crim. major and so I have a deep understanding of all the complex issues that go into this problem.

I am a misanthrope for all this and sometimes a very aggressive one as I feel people should be reminded of what many of us have lost for their selfishness, weakness, cowardice and ineptitude.

Utilitarian mental health professionals have been quick to suggest medication (ie sedatives). This of course would have no positive effects on an introspective individual. In addition, the mental health professionals i have approached with my issue have been totally incapable of even beginning an analytic discussion about my loss and how I am coping with it and suggested methods of relief and practical solutions.

If anything, this has fed a paranoia into my anti social frame of mind. I seek a psychologist preferably, or non-utilitarian psychiatrist
that will not shy away from my issues. I need an actual conversation about this stuff where i have never gotten a reasonable one from family, friends or professionals. I cannot deal with denial by mental health professionals about how over-arching the need to rape is for the human race. I need someone who will admit to the things that we all know are true...well I certainly do given my educational background.

I have been abused by the mental health field and whoever is suggested for me to speak to would have to have published articles I could read and get a feel for who i am dealing with.

If anyone who reads this knows an appropriate professional to contact. please let me know. it has been 6 years and each year has sucked big time. i would like to remedy that as soon as possible.

i am always grateful for not having been raped but it amazingly is little consolation for it having happened to a woman I loved more than any other person I have ever met.

if you know of a way to help that isn't shuffling me off to relieve others and is actually about helping ME...let me know

ty

Hi, henrypitter! Welcome to the forum. I don't know how you can find a psychologist to help you with your problem, but I can tell you that you can post here as much as you need. Maybe talking here about your loss and your pain will help a little.
I'm sorry your ex girlfriend was raped and that this has had such an impact on you.

however, i am not interested in joining a community of rape victims.

As much as I feel the Culture of Shame is the most evil social construct of all time...i also recognize the impact it has and its overbearing nature.

I seek to solve the problem with my many solutions over time. Unfortunately that means I have to separate myself from victims themselves as the Culture of Shame has a mandate to discredit victims of sex assault and deem anyone working with them to be an "irrational" victim as well.

I would like to find others like myself. Men..or women who have suffered through a loved one but not suffered the offence directly.

Occasionally there is a challenger for me to deal with...someone making a claim that i speak against rape because i'm "a dirty victim" (the culture of shame). This is usually a very ignorant victim themselves who i rip apart in front of everyone.

everyone else knows damn well they are not dealing with a victim when they are confronted by me.

I can tell you now that one of the biggest problems for rape is the rape victims and what a bulk of them do...especially male victims of gay rape. They walk around and promote it and say it is hot and all sorts of other stuff. The reason is that they want everyone else to suffer what they suffered because they dont think they deserved that to happen to them and so anyone else who doesnt deserve it should get it.

It is selfish and awful but those are the men promoting it openly on youtube videos, in society as a whole etc. What I like to do with these men is expose them as gay rape victims in a matter of fact way.

The effect is that they go away and think twice before promoting it again. Either it was true, they are victims and dont like being exposed or they dont want to be thought of as gay rape victims.

If you want to stop rape...one amazing thing you can do...is when a man says something about how great rape is or how hot it is...you say "oh well you say that because it happened to you...a man raped you and now you want everyone else who doesnt deserve that to get it because you didnt deserve it"

whatever they say...just repeat that and stand your ground.

I promise you...it will make a difference. Those men promoting it will shut up. That will have a huge impact.

i know for a fact because i have done this before and it has been extremely effective.

lets face it...most rapist try to lay low...they dont want to be baited out and bc they actually do it, they know how awful it is...so they are not the ones saying its hot and great...it is the male victims of gay rape that are doing it and making everyone think it is ok to promote it. They are acting like bullies, when they are victims...dont let their selfishness have others hurt. Call those buggers on it. Expose them.

Henrypitter, I don't think men make fun of rape or sexual assault victims more than women do. Women can be abusers too and the harm they cause often goes unnoticed or the people who went through it are not belived or what happened to them isn't considered important.
The fact that a man is abused by another man does not make him gay. I supose someone trying to hurt other victims is an abuser too and you should do what you can to make them stop, but saying that they have been abused too isnt guaranteed to do that. It is unfortunate that this is the only way some people can deal with what happened to them, be they men or women.
It's not true that all rapists or abusers try to lay low. Some brag about what they did and try to torment their victims.

i didn't say it made him gay...it is a gay rape

you must choose your words more carefully moderators

i appreciate your concerned replies.

And I know from my past that I often set off victims of sex assault with my very aggressive approach to dealing with motivated offenders

I am a capable guardian.

I don't feel that many suitable targets are capable guardians.

They act as a shield for victims. As a non-victim myself...my style is to be a night stick pounding away at the motivated offenders to deter them from attacking suitable targets


there are not enough capable guardians...we need more, people that give their lives and risk their lives to go up against the vicious rape mobsters in open battle and not in some pad lock form

Yah, you didn't say it made them gay. I just don't like the term gay rape, I guess.
What exactly is your strategy? Saying they've been raped too won't solve much. Not all people are the same.

of course it does much

read what i wrote

the victims are trying to get others victimized by promoting rape

calling them on it....is a deterrence

They could just say that you can't take a joke and everyone in the room might agree. I'm sure it would be a deterrence for some of them.