My first time writing the event down.

A nice warm sunny day in the summer of 2000. It is about July, maybe mid-July. Your best friends Ashley and Michael, 9 and 12, live next door to you. You head over to see them, to play a nice game with them. Maybe we'll play some Pokemon today. You head over to their house and you see Michael come out the front door to greet you. He smiles and says hello. You ask him where's Ashley and he says out somewhere. You want to head back to home since my best friend Ashley isn't there, but he says that he's got something really fun to do. So you head to the far end of his house and he stops you against the wall. He asks you a peculiar question, a question no five year old like you could answer. He asks you if you have ever had sex before, and you feel very awkward. He tells you he'll show you, and takes you into the shed where he closes the shed doors. He tells you to take off your pants and your underwear and you hesitate and say no, but he says it'll be really fun. You see the clock in the shed and it says 1:14. Plenty of time to do any of fun activities before you should head home and have supper. After you take your clothes off and he takes his off he tells you to suck on his penis. You say that's nasty but he convinces you by saying he'll do the same to you. The taste is different, not really bad, but kind of good tasting. He tells you to keep doing it for fifteen minutes. After fifteen minutes, he does the same to you for about ten minutes. It feels really good. He says that we're done and he'll see you tomorrow, but before you go he kisses you, tongue. The kiss felt nice, loving, caring. You felt good but strange. And you head home. The rest of your day is just staying inside playing video games. The next day the same thing happens in the shed, only starting at about 2:00. And this continues on for about two weeks.

Mike, you are very brave for sharing this. That guy had no right to do that to you, you were much younger than him and you couldn't have known better.
What happened is not your fault in any way. I'm proud of you for being able to talk about it like this.

Mike, I know how hard this was. I'm proud of you for being this brave and for taking these steps in your recovery. I was almost twice your age before I could bring myself to even remember the abuse let alone tell anyone about it.

Mike,

I agree with the others and know how hard this must be to write.

Like Sean, I was much older than you when I was able to express what happened to me.

This is a big step in the journey of healing.

Best,

N.

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I am getting over it more now, and it's so much easier, but now something else has happened and it's much worse than the rape in my opinion. I'm feeling worse than I ever did in my journey to healing because of one day, yesterday.

And that is now even harder to share than the rape.

Thanks everyone,
Mike

Mike, you can tell us. Just contact one of us and say what happened. Talking helps. It won't bring you donw, becouse you won't let it and you have us.

Mike, that was very courageous you dared to write it all down and share. Ive had a similar thing happen when I was 5 years old, too (Im female) and I could see myself in your experience when i read it and it was confronting. But you've helped me see some things for myself. Good you shared, well done. Hope you can find support with what happened to you yesterday. Do ask. Take care.

Hi Mike,

I agree with what other members have said on this one. Your very brave to post what you have and it helps talking to people who have been through simular things to you and I'm sure all members will agree that we're all here for you if you need us.

Don't ever shut yourself away as some people in your situation start to think of the why questions (including myself n what I've been through) and its hard not to think of the why questions but one thing is for sure Mike and that you should never blame yourself for the actions of others. Its the attacker/abuser whos to blame and nobosy else.

(((HUGE HUG)))

Karen
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