How porn and sex abuse influenced my sexuality

I have always felt different. I always disliked men, because ALL of them like porn videos. I think pornography is extremely sexist.
Pornography is recorded with the participation of prostitutes. A prostitute's job is to have ''sex'', even if she doesn't want to. A porn actress's job is to ACT like she's enjoying the penetration, even if she's not. There are many women who are willing to be prostitutes, to have sex with men even if they don't want to, women who are uncapable of saying ''no'' because they think they HAVE TO please the men. I think if a man records a video having ''sex'' with a prostitute knowing that she's not in the mood for doing that, or gets in contact with a hooker and penetrates her knowing that she is only having ''sex'' because of the money and not because she WANTS to, then the man we're talking about here is abusing someone. It's not sex, it's rape.
We hear a lot of things about porn actresses who have been abused in the porn industry. How do you know, when you're watching a porn video, if the woman behind the screen is pretending to have an orgasm, or if she's really enjoying the sex? I know, you can look for videos that specify in the title that the woman had an orgasm and therefore, she enjoyed the sex. But what bothers me is that men don't do that. I know many men masturbate watching videos in which a woman is pretending to enjoy she sex, but we don't know what happened before the video was recorded. Do porn actresses choose who they are going to have sex with? I'm almost sure they sign a CONTRACT and they have to record porn videos with men they don't know, they may not be attracted to them, may not have the interest in having ''sex'' with them, and if they don't, they get fired. There are many stories we hear about women who have been obligated through the use of violence to record porn videos and pretend they're enjoying it.
Women who record porn videos are submissive and they show it in the videos. Most of porn videos show men calling women ''bitch, whore, slut'', women having sex with 10 men or more at the same time, actors simulating sex abuse (e.g: insisting to touch the woman's body even if she's yelling NOOOO! NOOO!). And this behavior of insistence is endorsed by society, because ''men like to conquist women''. Also, the exageration. A man touches a woman's arms and she screams like she's having multiple orgasms. Weird fetishes, like women dressed as maids or children (I don't know how to explain using words in english, it's like they have a ponytail in each side of the head, like children, you know?). Women wearing those clothes teenagers wear (long socks, skirts). Lots videos with 'the word ''lolita'' on the title or ''dad ###$ daughter'', ''mother ###$ son''. I've seen pictures of porn actors who were like, 14 years while I was navigating on redtube. I mean, how can you even navigate on those sites? ######6 sick.
To be continued when I'm in the mood for writing more.

On sexual abuse/assault:
The first time I was sexually assaulted, I was 11. I don't know why I let my classmates touch my vagina. I blamed myself for a long time. I said ''stop'' and they didn't stop. They were 11 like me.
At 14, my parents knew I was dating a 18 year-old guy and they didn't do anything to stop me from doing so. My dad blamed ME for dating the guy, she said I was going to be known as a whore because I was dating a guy and years later I realized I made out with a pedophile, but luckily, I didn't have sex with him.
I'm still a virgin because my ex classmates didn't put their fingers inside me, but they did touch my vagina. I don't feel ready to have sex.

-- Wed May 22, 2019 10:17 pm --

********I CORRECTED THE TEXTS BECAUSE SOME WORDS WERE WRONG********
I have always felt different. I have always disliked men, because ALL of them like porn videos. I think pornography is extremely sexist.
Pornography is recorded with the participation of prostitutes. A prostitute's job is to have ''sex'', even if she doesn't want to. A porn actress's job is to ACT like she's enjoying the penetration, even if she's not. There are many women who are willing to be prostitutes, to have ''sex'' with men even if they don't want to, women who are uncapable of saying ''no'' because they think they HAVE TO please the men. I think if a man records a video having ''sex'' with a prostitute knowing that she's not in the mood for doing that, or gets in contact with a hooker and penetrates her knowing that she is only having ''sex'' because of the money and not because she WANTS to, then the man we're talking about here is abusing someone. It's not sex, it's rape.
We hear a lot of things about porn actresses who have been abused in the porn industry. How do you know, when you're watching a porn video, if the woman behind the screen is pretending to have an orgasm, or if she's really enjoying the sex? I know, you can look for videos that specify in the title that the woman had an orgasm and therefore, she enjoyed the sex. But what bothers me is that men don't do that. I know many men masturbate watching videos in which a woman is pretending to enjoy she ''sex'', but we don't know what happened before the video was recorded. Do porn actresses choose who they are going to have sex with? I'm almost sure they sign a CONTRACT and they have to record porn videos with men they don't know, to whom they may not be attracted to, and may not have the interest in having ''sex'' with them. And if they don't record the videos, they get fired. I find it extremely sexist and wrong to make a contract that stimulates someone to have sex with people she doesn't even know.
There are many stories we hear about women who have been obligated through the use of violence to record porn videos and pretend they were enjoying it.
Women who record porn videos are submissive and they show it in the videos. Most of porn videos show men calling women ''bitch, whore, slut'', women having sex with 10 men or more at the same time, actors simulating sex abuse (e.g: insisting to touch the woman's body even if she's yelling NOOOO! NOOO!). And this behavior of insistence is endorsed by society, because ''men like to conquist women''. Also, the exageration. A man touches a woman's arms and she screams like she's having multiple orgasms. Weird fetishes, like women dressed as maids or children (I don't know how to explain using words in english, it's like they have a ponytail in each side of the head, like children, you know?). Women wearing those clothes teenagers wear to go to high school (long socks, skirts). Lots of videos with the word ''lolita'' on the title or ''dad ###$ daughter'', ''mother ###$ son''. I've seen pictures of porn actors who were like, 14 years old while I was navigating on redtube. I mean, how can you even navigate on those sites? ######6 sick.
On sexual abuse/assault:
The first time I was sexually assaulted, I was 11. I don't know why I let my classmates touch my vagina. I blamed myself for a long time. I said ''stop'' and they didn't stop. They were 11 like me.
At 14, my parents knew I was dating a 18 year-old guy and they didn't do anything to stop me from doing so. My dad blamed ME for dating the guy, he said I was going to be known as a whore because I was dating that guy and years later I realized I made out with a pedophile, but luckily, I wasn't violated by him because I broke up with him.
I'm still a virgin because my ex classmates didn't put their fingers inside me, so I still have a himen, but they did touch my vagina. I don't feel ready to have sex.

Basically I hate men because they support prostitution, they don't want prostitution to end because if it ended, there would be no porn videos. Prostitution is directly related to sexual abuse/women having sex with men they don't want to have sex with because that's their jobs.