Was it rape?

Hello,
I need some advice on whether I was raped or not, please read my story and tell me what you think and if you have any advice.

About six months ago, my brothers best friend came over for a visit. About an hour later we were in my basement, and he asked me to take of my shirt and shorts. I said no but he pressured me into it, saying I had to do it or else. I knew I was not as strong as him so I didn't try to say any things else. I took off my clothing, and he did disgusting things with his mouth (I would rather not describe it) when he was done, I went up stairs and took a shower. The next morning, he and my brother made me have oral sex with my brothers best friend. Neither of them listened when I said no and made me do it. Was it rape?

So sorry that happened to you. Yes, if you were made to do those things, or did so out of fear for the consequences if you didn't, that would be rape. You didn't mention your age but if you are young enough to still be at risk from these guys, you have to act to protect yourself.

Is there soeone you can talk to about this? Parents or other famiy maybe? You should try to be sure you are safe so that something like that doesn't happen again. You deserve to be treated with respect. They were way out of line, your brother most of all for not protecting you as he should.

It might help for you to contact one of the rape crisis centers or services. That would give you someone to talk to if you don't feel you can approach your family. They are also experienced and can give you further advice. Main thing is to take care of you now. That shouldn't have happened and you need to be sure you're ok. I really hope you will be. Please post back here if you want to talk further.

Thank you for the advice. That helped me out a lot. I was only twelve when that happened. I am only 13 now, but I don't think I can talk to my parents about it. I will contact a rape crisis center. But one more thing, they come over a lot I try to ignore them, but should confront him about it, or should I keep on ignoring them?

Talk to that rape crisis centre. You did not say how old they are. In many places in the world that is a jailable offense.

You need some adult guidance and support. You need some to have your back. See them asap.

Society sees brothers as supportive family people. We have many many stories here of girls raped by their brothers.

Also is there any where else you could move to, other relatives etc. You should feel safe in your own house.

Please let us know how you are going.
Terry

Ginny, If you don't feel that you can talk to your parents about this, the problem is that you are still at risk for further abuse. Terry is right, you should be safe in your own home, and you have every right to ask & expect that.

Is there another adult that you would trust and could talk to? Maybe someone at school, a counselor or teacher? Or an uncle or aunt or friend? It's hard for someone your age to deal with this on your own. You're obviously brave but you shouldn't have to be. All the law, morality, and social services are on your side, there is no justification whatever for what they did. You are innocent, you did nothing wrong. But to get those things lined up behind you, you have to tell an adult.

If you ignore this, then again they may be emboldened to try something else, and it could get much worse. So please don't take that risk. You have a right to safety and to be free of abuse. Everyone around you will support that, once it's in the open. Keeping it quiet only really helps those guys, it protects them and gives them another opportunity to hurt you. No reason to allow that, you just have to speak up. Evil likes the shadows, it doesn't like the light.

You could try confronting them yourself, but at your age, you alone won't have the power to do much on your own. They would likely try to intimidate and silence you. I wouldn't even give them the chance, since you'll have all the support you need once it's no longer hidden.

Remember you have to take care of yourself first. Once someone acts to hurt you, they forfeit their expectation to have you think about them first. So there is no guilt or shame for you in bringing this to light. I really hope you will. You deserve to be safe and not afraid.

As Terry said, please let us know how things go, we are always here for you. We'll help in any way we can.