HELP- In regards to my 10 year old daughter

Hello,
My 10 year old daughter decided last night, while in a public setting with family and friends enjoying our dinner, was the best time to tell me she had been raped at THREE YEARS OLD. She told me a neighbor boy (who was about 10 at the time) out a pillow over her face and had his way with her.

I really need help with this.... Why is she telling me this now? Not then? Why in a public setting and not one on one? I love my daughter and I would never take this lightly but I am also confused... I've recently went through a divorce about 2 years ago and we have shared custody. But I am battling for full custody. How do I go about this? Can I press charges/prosecute the boy in charge of destroying my daughters trust? Has it been too long being that it's been about 7 years?
Please help me with how to go about this.

ps I am not asking for anyone to tell me to talk to her and comfort her because I am doing all of that, I am talking it through with her and trying to help her the best I can. But need help with what I can do to make this better on a legal level.

You can report it, however it may be her word against his. I'm a bit naive on this, but does a 10 yr old boy have the ability to do this? I'm only asking this because as I say I don't know how quick that part of the body grows

Regarding why now, there is a strong possibility she has been remembering this for a while, but hasn't had the words or understanding to verbalise it. For your daughter to tell you this now, I would be inclined to believe her and maybe seek guidance and advise from the police or child protection team. Both cops and child protection teams have specially trained staff to talk to and gather information from your daughter. There is a possibility it could have been someone else, but she remembering it differently.

Believe her. Don't doubt her. Don't ask leading questions and write anything she says in her words. Date and time it. You say she came out with it on a family occasion, make a list of who was there and who heard her, because they are now witnesses to her disclosure.

Good luck with things

smurf wrote:You can report it, however it may be her word against his. I'm a bit naive on this, but does a 10 yr old boy have the ability to do this? I'm only asking this because as I say I don't know how quick that part of the body grows

Some 10 year olds do yes.. I experimented with a couple of peers at around that age (as well as being abused by a couple) - there was a boy of 10 when I was 9, and he'd have been capable I think.
That part of the body grows at different rates - but the 10 year old peer that I remember must have been adult sized already, and boys are capable of erections and therefore penetration from a really really young age.. regardless of size.

Lexiechex;

I'm really glad that your daughter finally managed to tell you what had happened to her.. I can't answer for why she told you when she did, but perhaps she'd been wanting to tell you for a long time, finally managed to get up the courage to do so, and had to tell you because it was the right time for her.
Why does it matter that you were in a public setting? Your daughter deserves a medal for managing to speak out.. doesn't matter where she finally managed to open up about it.

I'm confused about why you mention that you're battling for full custody.. are you concerned that this will somehow impact on that?

I'm not sure where you live, or whether you have some kind of time limit on bringing criminal charges against someone, but the best thing to do would be to follow smurfs advice and seek guidance from the police or/and a child protection team.

Sbb I didn't mean to cause offence. I didn't experiment with boys then. Sorry if I offended anyone

smurf wrote:Sbb I didn't mean to cause offence. I didn't experiment with boys then. Sorry if I offended anyone

Huge hugs to you Smurf.. absolutely not offended, really sorry that I worded my reply badly enough that you thought I'd been offended <3

I took your question literally.. that you were asking from being slightly puzzled at the idea that it was actually possible - not that you'd meant anything else xx