My partner accidentally violated me *TW*

I'm posting this because I'm in a difficult situation I know my feelings are valid but I also know that my partner would never normally do anything to harm me. But I still feel incredibly sad, and...icky.
It doesn't matter if I'm doing something I usually enjoy, I just can't shake this feeling...
And I don't even feel like it's my partners fault.
We just got in our sex life back and were going at it, he fell asleep while I was straddling him.
I was like, okay, we are both intoxicated, it's 3am, let me just go to bed.
I try to get off of him and he wakes up and says baby no, and thrusts himself inside of me.
I say no, but he keeps thrusting.
I try to get off of him again and I said I'm saying no, I'm saying no!
Finally he let's me off and grabs some lube and starts masturbating.
Of course I was like are you serious?
He stands up, gets angry with me, and leaves the room.
He was extremely intoxicated and felt terrible the next morning.
He cried and said he doesn't remember it, and he's sorry.
That if I need space I can have it.
I'm just so confused.
It was so unlike him, he would never do that to me sober.
I feel sad, and dirty...and I just...
I don't know.
I have been raped and molested in my life and I feel like this had a bigger impact on me than those incidents.
Am I crazy?
He's genuinely a good guy...maybe that's why I feel this way?
Thank you if you respond, I guess I just need to talk to someone who gets it.

Well, you are not your own self while you are intoxicated, right? So you must blame the intoxication, not the person.

Obviously it's wrong for him to continue after you'd said no. So you're justified in being upset. However in this case you both had the intention of having intercourse, so it seems more like a failure of communication, which as you mentioned may have been due to intoxication.

Maybe talk to him about it and be sure he understands your right to always control what happens to your body. It sounds like he does, but you can make it really clear while you're both sober. Also the need to communicate clearly during sex, so it doesn't happen again. If he doesn't get this or doesn't want to change his behavior, then that would be a more serious relationship problem.