Unique Issues Faced By Male Survivors

One unique issue that frustrates me: if a female is raped and pregnancy results, she is free to abort. If a male is raped and pregnancy results, he is not because his seed's imprisoned in the embryo and womb of his aggressor, and then he is obligated to support any children that results from the rape.

This is horrible.

Rape and sexual assaults on males rarely go reported because if female rape victims have such a hard time then imagine how much worse that situation is for an older male.

I am an adult male but as a child I was sexually assaulted, the mental scars have been long reaching but the worst thing of all was the fact that those that perpetrated the assault managed to go through life without charges or a conviction. The avoided being caught because they were smart and they were also well trusted members of society (they looked after the local church choir) and they would prey on young children. The fact young children don't fully understand or know how to explain things enabled them to bluff their way out of trouble.

As a young boy I was one of their victims and I told my parents what had happened. So naturally they spoke to the couple that did it and after quite a few words and a half a dozen laughs the issue was brushed aside. I still had to go to choir practice and being a soloist meant I had to stay back for extra practice, something I ended up hating with a passion and within 2 years I was not going to church at all.

Arbie, it's horrible that you went through that and your parents did nothing. It's truly awful, I'm sorry this happened in your life, it was not your fault. The people who did it are responsible and your parents are responsible for not getting the police involved and not getting you help.

Jasmin, I don't blame my parents because the people that did it were cunning and manipulative, they would joke about the kids having trouble with their underpants or something and turn it into a joke. They were very well respected, they were intelligent and well liked by people who got on well with the local police too.

That's not a joke any parent should take lightly or not see as incredibly creepy. It's up to you how you feel about your parents of course, I'm not trying to be judgmental.

I know you are not being judgemental Jasmin, I know that the offenders always tended to make it sound like a misunderstanding and always used the old 'he was having trouble going to the bathroom' routine. If it wasn't he was having trouble going it was he had trouble with his zipper or some other excuse, which made me sound like a clutz.

They do tend to do this, but it's always creepy and obvious that they're full of $#%^. Well anyway, I think you're a strong person for living through everything you've been through because of this.

Thank you Jasmin, I guess sometimes I don't feel that strong, and other times I feel as though I am on top of the world... the whole thing now is somewhat surreal and to be honest is like some bad recurring dream yet I know it happened.

Arbie, I am so Sad for what you have survived. It amazes me that people like yourself who have been through such horrible pain become so thoughtful and kind. You are a very welcome member here. Please know that you are not the first Man to come here and speak out. There have been others and I am so grateful that you all do. We are all as sick as our secrets and to bring to light the secrets of the past makes room for enlightenment and healing.
Your courage is speaking out here is absolutely certain to help others do the same.
With care,
One

Thanks One, the thing is I guess a lot of guys who have been in my situation do find it tough to come forward. I have carried this around for a long time and I know the hardest thing has been gaining acceptance because society has trouble dealing with the issues such as this. In fact it generally tries to sweep such things under the carpet and avoid the subject altogether.

I know that it tends to be tougher on male victims too because society cannot grasp the reality of such a thing, same as domestic violence perpetrated by women, it's rare and does happen but generally those that suffer have to either live in fear or suffer the shame on continued ridicule. Even growing up having been a young victim it was difficult because certain things were tough to deal with and they caused other issues and in fact ended up with name calling and ridicule of a different kind.