Friendly therapist

My therapist told me that he was afraid of dying alone, I told him he has his wife so he wouldn't be alone and he said that she never answers her phone when he calls her and j said why and he said it was because she is always to busy, so if he is dying she wouldn't answer his call. I think he shared to much with me. It's really sad and worries me that he is depressed. I've been seeing him for 3 years now so maybe that's why he felt he could confined in me. I feel really attached to him, which I don't like I'm wondering if I should leave and find a new therapist.. Anyone have any suggestions?

Hi,

unfortunately I think you are correct -- you should find a different therapist. Sharing therapist's personal life details is not the point of a therapy session, and it is against ethical code to undergo therapy administered by a person you are friends with (which is in the process of happening). You definitely shouldn't worry about your therapist's depression. Your therapist should be a professional offering certain services, and with you worrying about his mental health it almost seems like the opposite relationship is developing.

Sorry that I don't have an easier answer for you. I hope you find someone suitable soon.

Do you know if he's under supervision? [Many T's are. It's a professional development aspect. Not a sign that they aren't experienced enough.] Asking him to talk to his supervisor might help him get back on track.

I agree with Oliveira that it's probably best to close this part of the process though. And look for a new therapist who has healthy professional boundaries. I know that's difficult. Having done so much work with this one. But the therapeutic relationship isn't like being friends. If he wants you to help him. That means he isn't able to help you.

Yes, he did share too much, which is unprofessional of him. Considering that you've been seeing him for 3 years though and it sounds like you don't have any complaints overall, I wouldn't immediately stop seeing him, at least not without a some kind of closure. You can tell him that you didn't find it appropriate of him to share this kind of deep personal information with you and you can process this together to make a closure on that. Or you can just keep seeing him without saying anything, whatever works best for you. If he makes another inappropriate self-disclosure, then you really will have to have a serious talk with him and if he doesn't realize that he is crossing the professional boundary, then leave and find a new therapist. But I do think that if he has been helpful and professional up to this point, then he deserves to be given a chance. People do make mistakes and therapists are no exception. We all have our moments of weakness. Nobody's perfect.