Humour and Distraction

hi

i've been these forums for a while and have found them really helpful. i actually just joined today and this is my first post. I'm just curious about others experience of laugher and humour in therapy. i know it's a defence mechanism and it's a big one for me since i was a kid. I have a history of PTSD and depression and have been in therapy for a while - psychoanalysis has really helped me and i've made some good changes in life. right now, we're in the middle of what could be looking at some difficult stuff in therapy and i find i am using humour a lot to distract, the therapist challenges me but it doesn't seem like enough as i find like today, i'm laughing and cracking jokes and it's all funny and now i get home and i feel so low and down, it's like a totally different person. has anyone else experienced this ? it's a total roller-coaster and hard to know who the real person is. i have decided the best thing i can do is say this to the therapist directly at our next appointment on monday - i'm laughing here and the minute i walk outside, this lonely down feeling hits me.