DID afraid they'll think I'm faking

Sometimes I wake up at night panicking that the psychologists in family therapy will think I'm faking,

See I'm not sure if I'm faking or not, I read that this can be a pretty normal feeling for people finding out they have Did, I certainly lose time and switch personalities etc, am
Co conscious a lot and i sense others are there BUT even with all the proof I have and my husband encouraging me I can't shake the feeling and then I panic that they watch me on the videos and think I'm faking
The main threapist said he's seen me as a different person before and I was very different

I'm so worried about this, my husband says if I'm not sure I'm faking then I can't be because when you fake something you know its not real
What a horrible floaty new world to have to wade through and a past to have to learn to see in a different way

Hey there!
it's definitely not a strange feeling to think you;re faking. Even after years of DID I sometimes still wonder if it's all real or not, and then feel guilty about it because I don't want the others to spiral into existentional crises.

As encouraged by my SO, I made a list of all things in which they were different from me consistently, from handwriting to feelings about certain topics, and that really helped in making me see that they're really, really here.

Don't be afraid of that you are faking, as you say, you have a lot of evidence to the contrary, so don't let it bother you too much.

PS: maybe you should try posting in the DID forum, if you're not there already?

Have you done a lot of online research about DID? I know when I did (because frankly I still struggle on and off with accepting it in any way, shape or form), I was kind of shocked by how frenzied the debating over it can get. Some opposing articles, blogs, videos, etc were on the same level of 'heated' as the comments section under a global warming news piece. There are many professionals who seem to have nearly dedicated their careers to trying to prove DID isn't real. That's a rather intimidating environment to go into, when you know there is a chance that the very professionals you rely on for guidance might just up and tell you that your disorder is fake, especially if you've already gone through the hurdles of denial or are still struggling to overcome them. I think it's important for the field to try to disprove stuff, because it keeps everything objective and leads to better research and understanding, but holy crap are some of the critics viscous and accusatory. So I can see how reading into all of it could cause a mountain of extra anxiety. Some of the debates about the Sybil story were just warped. It was like so many believed that if the Sybil woman didn't really have DID, then DID isn't real. That would be like if the president pretended to have cancer, and when busted, that would prove that cancer isn't real. I mean seriously.

But here is the way I see it: Even if professionals haven't figured out every nook and cranny of DID, and even if details and literature has to be changed over the years as new research unfolds, that doesn't mean that I don't experience what I experience. It would only mean that it took long enough for them to get around to figuring it the heck out. There is no need for anyone to persecute me on top of everything else I deal with. And any 'professional' who doesn't get that, is not worth your time.

Hi BrainFizz,

Is it possible that your afraid they'll think your faking about your story or trauma? Being called a lie? Especially if you all remember something later, especially if your counselor alluded to one your traumas and at the time you didn't remember but remembered later and also remember that your counselor allude to that previously. This is part of my journey I'm dealing with memories that wasn't there, but are there now. I wasn't in a whole lot of denial about being multiple, I was more concerned about where are the memories. I now understand after research and have recovered memories enough to know that I don't want to keep remembering.

Come on over to the DID board, Brainfizz and anyone else who's dealing with being multiple, possibly being multiple, or knowing someone who is or could be multiple.

MDs

Where's the did board?

-- Sun May 10, 2015 7:50 pm --

Thanks

Dissociative Identity Disorder Forum - PsychForums

dissociative-identity/

MDs

i kno how u feel cuz we did manage to tell our therapist about our did n she seems to b ok w trying to work w it but shes pushing intergration too hard on me n when i myself went in to try n talk to her bout smth rly ######6 $#%^ that happened to ME she kept saying $#%^ like "ur allone person use i statements dont split again ur splitting" .........but its ALWAYS been like this, just SUMMER is the same kind of person as the therapist!!!! SUMMER agrees but ME. ALEC. doesnt. and she wont acknowledge me so i just said ###$ it n im not gunna explain what happened to her then eventho i actualy rly need to cuz being a protector is $#%^. :]] ya. so. it can go one of two ways for u.

if ppl wont take u srsly n work W U instead of thinking they r the messiah then move onto someone else. someone is bound to work w u on DID n not just w/e else.

everyones so focused on the bpd bit when that is more me then anyone else in here lol. ironicly she wont work w me tho??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

just b careful ///: i get y u r scared