Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support **May Trigger**

I saw there's no thread for this, so wanted to create one. Hopefully the mods will consider stickying this.
Here you can share your stories, and connect with other parents who have lost a pregnancy.
I've lost 3 pregnancies, and have one living child. One of my losses is very recent and I am not ready to share. but I will eventually.
All of you who have whethered loss are very brave. I know from personal expierience it's a pain that never truly leaves your heart.
but to know you are not alone, and the passage of time may be factors that help in the heeling process.

Dear MartianRobotGirl,
Thanks for adding this thread. I have posted a similar message in a different forum but basically when I was 16, had what was probably a miscarriage (missed periods for two months then had a bleed lasting two weeks and several smaller bleeds). I can't remember if I had cramps or what because I have always had terrible period pain. Anyway, at the time it I didn't think too much on it and guess because of my age/ uncertainty whatever that I just pushed aside the issue and carried on. (I have always coped in this unhealthy way, by just getting on with stuff and bottling everything up. I did it when my mum had cancer, when my dad was an alcoholic and when my granddad was molesting me. All at the same time these occurred when I was 10 years old and that's how I 'coped' with all of that.)
Anyhow, back to the subject at hand, 13 years later, what happened back then is now haunting me. As I am married with a good husband and we both want children but are having some issues that prevent it. I cant get away from the fact that loads of family and friends around me are expecting or already have children. I have been having counseling and my counselor asked if I had named the baby or done anything to acknowledge that this was a life. I said I hadn't as I wouldn't have even known if it was a boy or girl. She suggested choosing a unisex name and making a baby box. I opted for Jo/Joe and then had an incredibly strong feeling that my baby was a girl. So she is now named Jo. I went and brought some things to put in her box, like a pink elephant teddy and some baby shoes and a little changing mat. I think this will help in the long run but I feel so sad and long for children. I just text a good friend happy birthday and she texted back to tell me she is pregnant. I want to be happy for all the people in my life for whom this wonderful thing has happened or is happening. But every time I hear or see it brings back the raw emptiness and sadness that I am feeling. I either cry and cry and then cut myself or feel numb and strange and have to get away from wherever I am or whatever I am doing at the time. I hope someone can just give some words of support or offer some kind of hope. I feel the situation is pretty hopeless.

Hi there.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
I think the baby box is a very helpful concept.
I did the same thing with my loss, didn't want to talk about or even think about it until I had my first healthy baby in 2010. Then all the emotions hit me. Talking to people on a suffering and loss forum on a parenting site helped me a lot. I'd recommend it.
Have you ruled out IVF already? and if so, perhaps adoption? I know it's not the same, but you could provide an unwanted little baby a loving home, since it sounds like you and your husband are in a position to do that. Even if the adoption process is lenghthy and difacult where you are, maybe getting the process started would help take your mind off your loss and provide hope.
Here for you if you need to talk.
Can't believe I started this thread 3 years ago, nearly to the day.