Still trying to get s handle on this.

I am not able to seek help. I come here to vent. I dont drive and I have been doing better. I haven't said I hate you to my baby since she was 4 months. I did today. I love her so much. My mind when either sleepy or I am hormonal I tend to get agitated. I know what it is I had it before.I was taking meds for anxiety and fibromyalgia it helped alot. Calmed me so I am waiting to go to Doctor. I did here St. John's wart was good. I believe I have low Serotonin levels. The medicine I was on was an old tricyclic med it helped alot. Trigger I was pregnant years ago and had abortion thats when The moods started.

user23621 wrote:I am not able to seek help. I come here to vent. I dont drive and I have been doing better. I haven't said I hate you to my baby since she was 4 months. I did today. I love her so much. My mind when either sleepy or I am hormonal I tend to get agitated. I know what it is I had it before.I was taking meds for anxiety and fibromyalgia it helped alot. Calmed me so I am waiting to go to Doctor. I did here St. John's wart was good. I believe I have low Serotonin levels. The medicine I was on was an old tricyclic med it helped alot. Trigger I was pregnant years ago and had abortion thats when The moods started.

Sending hugs if wanted. You are going through so much. I'm so glad you're going to see a doctor so they can help you. Tell the doctor everything you are going through. Let us know how it goes.

How are you?

Could be better. I am gonna try to use St. Johns Wart it does same thing my meds did. I am still hsvent gone to doc but, mu baby girl is gonna be 1 this friday Dec 1st. Anxiety is crazy. I will be ok.

Keep taking it slowly as best as you are able to. And keep talking here.

Happy early birthday to your baby girl. Tomorrow, as you shared, is her 1st birthday.

I understand about anxiety. I have it real bad at times and I am prescribed valium (diazepam) for it. I take it when needed. And believe me when I need it, I will take it because anxiety is just terrible to experience.

Whats upsetting is my Husband has been the cause mostly. He cant see it. I have been with him for years before we married. Yes he was like this but, not half as bad. He has Social Anxiety disorder. He calmed down for a time. Since we tried getting a house in 2014 and that didn't work out to well. He hasnt been the same. His store he worked at had moved so he had to move with ot but, the people he works with now are kinda acting mean towards him.I tried telling him in so many ways to help him and to get him to see he is has been the problem. Something else he started having issues with my step dad and mom before that out the blue.The best year was 2013. I believe he gets paranoid to much. I thought we would be happier. My baby is a handful didnt know she would do everything that can drive ya nuts. I love her just wish I could get him to see. He would take things to sensitively. He is a good person other than that I would not have wanted to marry him.

-- Thu Nov 30, 2017 9:30 pm --

Thank you for her birthday wishes.

When I had my first baby, I thought, before her birth, that it would be like they showed it on tv. Gentle rocking them to sleep, gentle thoughts and feelings. Well, culture shock! My baby had colic, I couldn't breast feed so she wasn't gaining and the Pediatrician said to give formula supplements. I was a mess emotionally. I got postpartum depression. Not what the tv showed.

But your husband is not being supportive. That is something that you need so much right now. I'm just gonna send you a big hug because what can I really do, what advice can I really give. It must be so hard on you. (((HUG))) Keep talking here. I personally think it helps to talk to someone who understands.

Thank you. Its complicated with my husband. He does things for us on a financial and material level. I really need him emotionally at times. I trying to make our marriage work. For the fact that we have been together longer than married. It will be 2 years married Feb 18th and 15 years we have been together. Just upset this is happening now. I feel awful about my actions but, I just get mad with him. Yes I deserve me time without feeling upset like I am now. I get worried about how he feels about me now. I love them both. It just hurts.

It hurts that he thinks everytime I correct her or just vent about how she wouldn't sleep hes says that I cant handle her. She brings me joy yes, but I am here 24/7 with her. I put her to sleep and feed her ,change diapers. I haven't been away from her since my neices Graduation. By then I was numb because, she was going through the separation anxiety stage always wanted me. Now she pushes away from me to put her down when I just picked her up. She is trying to walk too so that could be it. When I first had her I didnt want to leave her side. My hormones normalized in Janury the bad side was creeping in. Thought I could deal. So wrong. Now our relationship is crazy.

No person can deny that children at whatever age are a "responsibility and they take work to raise." I always say that because yes they are my children, but they take out of me, such as my time and energy. No parent can deny that sometimes they are tired at the end of the day when caring for little ones. I say, "You try being me, you won't last an hour!"

I used to breast feed my first two and they were so attached to me. When they were hungry or wanted to cuddle, they always came to mama. I would turn and tell my husband to please help me because I do need some time to relax and rest. I breast fed for 2 years, each of them. My first two, that is. I have 3. The youngest is now 12.

When you write "Now our relationship is crazy" do you mean your relationship with your daughter or your husband?