BPD or whatever sister, how do I deal with her

She is late 70s. I am early 70s and the youngest.
She is the middle child and it shows.
She has been diagnosed with ADHD, but now her therapist thinks she could have something else.
Had anorexia since 1980 or so. Diagnosed with it and went to therapy but then dropped out in a few weeks. Said she did not want to relive all that stuff.
She exhibits BPD traits but also is very narcissistic and has to be the center of attention. But she is flirty also, and could be histrionic.
She has always been jealous of my relationship with our father, and says (in so many words) she never got his approval. IMO this is a big part of our issue.
IE I am her target and it is obvious.
She lives in the past a lot and talks a lot about how people mistreated her when she was young. I am talking even back to her childhood.
One thing that she is awful about is crossing boundaries and breaking rules to get what she wants regardless of the consequences.

If I confront her she starts gaslighting, blame shifting, blaming me, and in the end if not getting anywhere she turns into the victim saying things like I was only trying to help. When in reality what she had done was for her own gratification.

Recently we had a dispute. My mother that I took care of for 5 years had just died. This was last year. I told both siblings I only wanted to clean out the top of two closets and leave all else as is. So
two days after the funeral, while everyone was taking a nap, the middle went into our recently deceased mothers/parents room, closed the door, and gutted it. She went through all of my parents personal belongings and was making decisions of who got what. IE control behavior. And I had told her exactly what I wanted to do and she ignored it, later when confronted saying things like she is my mother too, or do I need your permission to do what I want?

My oldest sister placates her behavior so the middle see the oldest as an ally I guess. Anyway, by the time I figured out what was going on, she walked up to me and said and here is your stuff, and handed me a basket with most of my fathers personal belongings that I wanted to leave in his bedroom drawer where they had always been.

I got mad and told her to stop and you can imagine what happened. Blame throwing, blame shifting, gaslighting saying things like you started it etc etc. After that she went into victim mode and acted like she was crying but they were crocodile tears, IE no tears. She kept on saying it hurts over and over with her face in her hands.

And of course it was her birthday when she pulled this stunt and I have to wonder of that was intentional.

Now a year later she is still talking about this incident to my oldest sister and still trying to throw the blame on me. The oldest sister agrees with me that it was awful, but she also would not do anything to stop her.

One thing that is weird is that the middle sister says I started yelling at her, but I did not.

Also, I inherited my parents house, but the middle still talks about the house constantly and wants access to it, or at least I think she does. She got an inheritance too, but sold everything.

A while back she was trying to manipulate me into giving her, her daughter, and grandkids access to this house just in case was her excuse meanwhile she is wealthy. Of course if there was an emergency then no problems come on over, but at that time I would not open that door.

A lot more has happened over the many years. My middle sister is very much a chameleon and shifts her state around to match whatever is going on. Once I watched her flip flop behavior ingratiating then angry then repeat over and over and over again. Really weird.

My father was a narc and or histrionic and I am pretty sure my mother was BPD or something similar. My mother was anxiety ridden and angry. I am pretty sure she had abandonment issues. IMO all three of us siblings have personality disorders, me just guessing.

I consider myself Schizoid and I have an extremely low tolerance for other peoples nonsense. Which makes dealing with middle sister even worse especially since I am apparently her target. I have been her target for emotional abuse my entire life. Btu she can be very nice at times, and then awful others.

The oldest sister is very stoic and stubborn but I get along with her pretty well and talk a lot. The oldest told me the other day she was just trying to make it through the day without yelling at somebody. The oldest has anxiety attacks and has had a panic attack or two.

So my question is, in general, how do I deal with my middle sister? We are all getting older and the middle's husband just died, and I would hate to cut her off completely. But she is a huge boundary over-stepper and both sisters want to come back up here for a visit.

I feel like I should oblige them, they are my sisters, and the oldest would be fine because she typically treats me with respect. But the middle sister, I honestly don't want her in this house. Because even if I set boundaries they will mean nothing to her, and she will try to convince me otherwise or just ignore and do what she wants anyway which she has always done.

I find it amazing that these types are really their own worst enemy setting themselves up for failure over and over again, but never consider anything they do as wrong.