Attachment Hunger

Hi everyone. I'm a 21-year-old teenager from China. I wanted to share something deeply personal, because I don’t know where else to talk about it. I’ve been struggling with an overwhelming sense of attachment hunger — the kind of need for someone to be consistently there, to talk to me, to see me, to care about me. It feels like I can’t survive without that connection, and it’s terrifying. It’s not just loneliness. Even if I’m surrounded by people, I feel different, unseen, and disconnected. I keep trying to reach out, but people either leave, or they can’t hold the kind of emotional depth I need. Group activities don’t help either, because I don’t really have any close friends, and no one is truly there for me. Every time that happens, it feels like my entire world collapses again. I end up thinking there’s no point in trying, but the hunger for connection never goes away. Sometimes it makes me feel like I could die if I never find someone who truly stays. It feels as intense as a survival instinct, and I hate that it makes me feel so desperate. I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s real. I’ve tried therapy, medication, hobbies, and even joining groups, but nothing seems to replace the need for someone to really be there for me. Has anyone else felt this way? How do you live with attachment hunger when you don’t have a consistent partner or friend to rely on? Any advice or just shared experiences would mean the world to me. Thanks for listening.